I am giving this song another shot for two reasons: I wrote an extra verse and recorded the new version with my own vocal. The new verse adds a little bit of light at the end of a long dark tunnel, which I think is good. Not crazy about the vocal.
Any & all feedback is very much appreciated... and I will gladly return the favor. TIA
Hi Jackson,
The lyrics are interesting and the arrangement is cool. I think the vocals are pretty good ... Kinda Pink Floyd meets the Wallflowers. It would be really cool to hear a full band version of this song. My favorite line is “I try to pour more into it to bring another shade.”
Thanks, Brent
June 14, 2021
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Thanks so much, Brent,
I have a lot of respect for you & your feedback means a lot.
I think your description nails the direction really well: I have been a fan of both bands over the years.
And thanks for the nod on the vocals too—I am a lyricist and will take gladly any compliment on my limited vocal abilities, whether I deserve it or not. Be well, J
June 14, 2021
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Hi Jackson, I like the dreamy feel of the song, and I especially like the title. It makes me think of the analog (natural) versus digital (artificial/chopped up/distanced) world. I am not sure if you are meaning to compare analog versus digital in the song, but if you are, perhaps the lyrics could make that more apparent. Who is the man killed and who is the man reborn? That’s my paltry two cents on what the very interesting title makes me want to know. -Pete
June 14, 2021
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Hey Peter,
Thanks for taking the time to hear my song.
I wish I can give you a straight answer on the meaning of the title. I have another one, “Train Without a Station,” which is also an open metaphor. Both came to me in sessions where the idea/metaphor and some of the text were fully formed and I just jotted them down. Months later I realized that perhaps (key word) I was writing about the way I have had to “kill” my past to live in the present, or something to that effect, in less dramatic terms. The beauty of these metaphors is that everyone can bring their own meaning to them. Jack.
June 15, 2021
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Jackson…
Really like the dreamy feel of the song. Nice arrangement too. Anyone ever told your vocals are very Peter Gabriel?
I can hear this really jelling overall if the snare wasn’t a bit distracting, the pauses with the simple brush/hi-hat rhythm is the keeper. Bring the bass track up a bit and tone down or delete the snare and I think you’ve got a real winner!, Peter, er, I mean Jackson! 
June 15, 2021
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Killed the Analog Man
I’m into this too deep. I can’t forget the pain.
Killed the analog man, he drove a single lane.
Song inside my head is up and down and fades.
I try to pour more into it to bring another shade.
Chorus
If I run out of here and I soon disappear,
Oh, but where the hell will I go?
Some suspend reality and live inside their dreams.
As if the truth don’t matter, reality’s too clean.
Nothing’s what it seems, yeah, I know too well.
For friends and foes alike the past I will not sell.
Chorus
What’s genuine anymore when witchcraft’s a success?
Why bother, just get out, get some peace and rest.
All come, go as they wish, my mind’s an open store,
I hope to wait the night out, dawn’s knocking on the door.
Chorus
Jackson Lucas & Peter D. Smith ©2020
jjacksonlucas@yahoo.com
0
The photo is by my good friend G. Ke$h. Too bad the format does not allow to see more of it.
June 14, 2021
0
Hi Jackson,
The lyrics are interesting and the arrangement is cool. I think the vocals are pretty good ... Kinda Pink Floyd meets the Wallflowers. It would be really cool to hear a full band version of this song. My favorite line is “I try to pour more into it to bring another shade.”
Thanks, Brent
June 14, 2021
0
Thanks so much, Brent,
I have a lot of respect for you & your feedback means a lot.
I think your description nails the direction really well: I have been a fan of both bands over the years.
And thanks for the nod on the vocals too—I am a lyricist and will take gladly any compliment on my limited vocal abilities, whether I deserve it or not. Be well, J
June 14, 2021
0
Hi Jackson, I like the dreamy feel of the song, and I especially like the title. It makes me think of the analog (natural) versus digital (artificial/chopped up/distanced) world. I am not sure if you are meaning to compare analog versus digital in the song, but if you are, perhaps the lyrics could make that more apparent. Who is the man killed and who is the man reborn? That’s my paltry two cents on what the very interesting title makes me want to know. -Pete
June 14, 2021
0
Hey Peter,
Thanks for taking the time to hear my song.
I wish I can give you a straight answer on the meaning of the title. I have another one, “Train Without a Station,” which is also an open metaphor. Both came to me in sessions where the idea/metaphor and some of the text were fully formed and I just jotted them down. Months later I realized that perhaps (key word) I was writing about the way I have had to “kill” my past to live in the present, or something to that effect, in less dramatic terms. The beauty of these metaphors is that everyone can bring their own meaning to them. Jack.
June 15, 2021
0
Jackson…
Really like the dreamy feel of the song. Nice arrangement too. Anyone ever told your vocals are very Peter Gabriel?
I can hear this really jelling overall if the snare wasn’t a bit distracting, the pauses with the simple brush/hi-hat rhythm is the keeper. Bring the bass track up a bit and tone down or delete the snare and I think you’ve got a real winner!, Peter, er, I mean Jackson!
June 15, 2021
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Jackson Lucas
The photo is by my good friend G. Ke$h. Too bad the format does not allow to see more of it.
June 14, 2021
No members have liked this comment.