This is a rough sketch and the main idea for a laid-back ruminative piece we are co-writing with Peter D. Smith, who also recorded it in his home studio.
Any and all feedback is welcome.
Hey Bob,
Thanks for checking the demo and your feedback.
My co-writer Pete is an accomplished jazz musician and he picked up on the abstract associative nature of the lyric nicely. This is just the main idea and I hope it should fill nicely when properly recorded with a band in the studio.
Best, Jack
June 25, 2020
No members have liked this comment.
Hey Jackson,
This song has a nice groove. I think of Micheal Franks or Steely Dan when I’m listening to this. What a great track.
Keep the faith my friend.
July 22, 2022
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
The Weight of Water
The weight of water over me
Brings back together all the pieces.
Drives me out of my dark oasis,
I travel light to some lost places.
The weight of water over me
Brings good bits of summers lost,
Dream lovers I have rarely missed,
Long after I have paid the cost.
The weight of water over me,
The rush of blood, I am awake.
It comes to me now in a flash,
I mostly make the same mistakes.
The weight of water over me
Brings me whole in your embrace.
Not too late but all too soon
A mirror breaks in my new face.
The weight of water over me
Brings lost courage back and more.
A slow rebirth, an old snow moon,
A boy who never won a war.
The weight of water over me
Brings home peace I wanted bad.
The weight of water over me
Brings back forever love we had.
0
Jackson, Your track has a nice feel. The lyric are a little vague, but I think they match the music nicely. It has kind of a jazzy feel. More suited to a tv or movie placement. Bob
June 24, 2020
0
Hey Bob,
Thanks for checking the demo and your feedback.
My co-writer Pete is an accomplished jazz musician and he picked up on the abstract associative nature of the lyric nicely. This is just the main idea and I hope it should fill nicely when properly recorded with a band in the studio.
Best, Jack
June 25, 2020
0
Hey Jackson,
This song has a nice groove. I think of Micheal Franks or Steely Dan when I’m listening to this. What a great track.
Keep the faith my friend.
July 22, 2022
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
robert wronkiewicz
Jackson, Your track has a nice feel. The lyric are a little vague, but I think they match the music nicely. It has kind of a jazzy feel. More suited to a tv or movie placement. Bob
June 24, 2020
No members have liked this comment.