From my hook book, an older song I've rewritten, a little different twist on not being able to totally move on from one lover to the next. Guess I've always like this hook.
General.
Hi Richard
The song told a nice story and had a good flow. Would have like to hear a bit more Up tempo on the chorus to make it stand out a bit more. Overall a nice song. Keep em coming and thanks for sharing
January 06, 2020
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY DREAM?
I’ve tried hard to forget you, put you right out of my mind
At night I dream of my new love, thought I’d left you far behind
But somewhere in the shadows, it seems that you’re still here
Standing right beside me, not quite disappeared
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY DREAM?
Can’t you see there’s someone else who’s taken your place with me?
Don’t you know that love we had can never ever be?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY DREAM?
I see her in the meadow with sunlight in her hair
I’m holding her so close, but I still can feel your stare
I just have to ask you, have you no one of your own?
Why must you keep bothering me, can’t you leave me alone?
CH
There must be a reason I can’t break free from you
I can’t help but wonder if I’m still in your dream too
CH
© Ric Kirk all rights reserved rkirk76@yahoo.com
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Hi, Richard. Thanks for sharing your song with us. I like the title alright, and your lyric supports it pretty well. I like that you have some energy to your song. It’s a “sad” song, but it doesn’t feel sad, and I think it works well here.
Keep on writing!
January 03, 2020
0
Hi Richard
The song told a nice story and had a good flow. Would have like to hear a bit more Up tempo on the chorus to make it stand out a bit more. Overall a nice song. Keep em coming and thanks for sharing
January 06, 2020
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Brent Baxter
Hi, Richard. Thanks for sharing your song with us. I like the title alright, and your lyric supports it pretty well. I like that you have some energy to your song. It’s a “sad” song, but it doesn’t feel sad, and I think it works well here.
Keep on writing!
January 03, 2020
No members have liked this comment.