The CD player in my van broke this summer so I listened to more of the radio than I had since probably high school. It wasn't as grueling as I thought it'd be, I think it's helped influence my songwriting a bit. I tried to make this a decent pop song
While it's a pretty stripped down recording, and admittedly needs work, I think this fits to the mold of what's currently on the radio based on what I'm hearing from Timberlake, Bruno Mars etc. With better performance and production, do you agree?
I can hear the Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars influences for sure. It’s a unique little mash up of their sounds. The high notes that Bruno likes to throw into his songs, combined with that Justin Timberlake flow. I think you captured what you were going after for sure. Good start.
November 22, 2013
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I really like your style, JT. Great playing, great singing. There’s a smooth casualness that flows through all your songs, this one in particular. Would love to hear this with a small band, one that has a real chill vibe.
Only comment is to be aware of the line you walk with enunciation. The “throw-it-away’ quality of your vocals is terrific, but occasionally some words go a little too far and are unintelligible. And I’m sure you work too hard on lyrics to not have them heard. That said, don’t overcompensate either. Most of the time it’s perfect, just be aware of it.
March 05, 2014
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Yesterday the sun was shining down,
But the horizon line isn't coming right back around, not right now
If it was up to me honey I'd keep it up for us all the time
But the sun can't rise unless you let it wait it out through the night.
Oh won't you ever let me, let you down? You know I'd let it be the other way around
It's not like I run when I hit the ground girl, no
It's your loving that's been hitting me harder and I know that you know because I tell you girl
Doesn't that sound like I love you? At least a lot more than when I try to tell you
Oh don't fail me now no don't fail me now no don't fail me
Oh don't fail me now
Waiting and watching you watch me while I'm wondering if we had to, could we ever turn it all around
Oh, don't fail me now
It's something as simple as having too much of not enough of your heart, that brings me down
We can't come together till we know we'll never fall apart.
Honey I will love you like any lover would, like any lover should
But if I brought it back baby you know I'd bring it back to good
Repeat prechorus
Repeat chorus
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I definitely hear Bruno Mars influence here (vocal, chord progression….). For critique, I think it’s too short. Consider adding a bridge (maybe just musical - maybe vocal) and then go back into the chorus (without the PC). While I like it, the PC might be a little long. Just a thought…......
November 20, 2013
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I can hear the Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars influences for sure. It’s a unique little mash up of their sounds. The high notes that Bruno likes to throw into his songs, combined with that Justin Timberlake flow. I think you captured what you were going after for sure. Good start.
November 22, 2013
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I really like your style, JT. Great playing, great singing. There’s a smooth casualness that flows through all your songs, this one in particular. Would love to hear this with a small band, one that has a real chill vibe.
Only comment is to be aware of the line you walk with enunciation. The “throw-it-away’ quality of your vocals is terrific, but occasionally some words go a little too far and are unintelligible. And I’m sure you work too hard on lyrics to not have them heard. That said, don’t overcompensate either. Most of the time it’s perfect, just be aware of it.
March 05, 2014
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Dick Plunk
I definitely hear Bruno Mars influence here (vocal, chord progression….). For critique, I think it’s too short. Consider adding a bridge (maybe just musical - maybe vocal) and then go back into the chorus (without the PC). While I like it, the PC might be a little long. Just a thought…......
November 20, 2013
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