When a girl discovers her boyfriend never plans to move forward.
I fixed the bridge. Genre, lyrics, storyline, flow, any and all, thank you!
Brent,
thanks for the feedback and ideas, I will try and work on improving that storyline, I like that idea. thanks for your time!
July 28, 2017
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brunette, brown eyes
those dimples
can't seem to get enough
of you
your smile is so dreamy
you make the rainy days
turn blue
when it comes to moving
forward
you never plan on to
Chorus
well, I'm not the kind of girl
whose gonna give her all to you
your smooth with your words
but too good to be true
you sugar coated flavor
relationship faker
in my heart I know
I'm just a good time
and you'll never let it last forever
tell all of your friends
your not that serious
then turn to me and say
they are delirious
to them your having your fun
to me I have your heart
chorus repeat
so goodbye
so long to you
goodbye
I hope you find someone like you
I'm not the kind of girl
who was a fool for you
not your showcase trophy
or that red color hue
darling this is over
I'll get over
get over
get over
I'm over you
chorus repeat
1
Hey, Amber- thanks for sharing your song! I like that you’re writing tempo instead of going all ballad with the negative/sad idea.
I like the idea. I like that the singer is strong enough to walk away and keep her dignity. She’s an overcomer, and that’s a good thing.
I wonder if you can not just paint him in the 1st verse, but paint them on a date or something. Show that they’re together, but also maybe hint as his non-committal, playboy ways.
I like in the 2nd verse how you play off what you are to his friends verses what he says are are to him. That’s cool.
Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
July 27, 2017
0
Brent,
thanks for the feedback and ideas, I will try and work on improving that storyline, I like that idea. thanks for your time!
July 28, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Amber- thanks for sharing your song! I like that you’re writing tempo instead of going all ballad with the negative/sad idea.
I like the idea. I like that the singer is strong enough to walk away and keep her dignity. She’s an overcomer, and that’s a good thing.
I wonder if you can not just paint him in the 1st verse, but paint them on a date or something. Show that they’re together, but also maybe hint as his non-committal, playboy ways.
I like in the 2nd verse how you play off what you are to his friends verses what he says are are to him. That’s cool.
Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
July 27, 2017