Recorded by Derek Wynn
v v -Rough House Studios- v v
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Rough-House-Studios/231244333555596
http://ruffhousestudios.publishpath.com/default.aspx
Recorded a version using some of the feedback I got from people. We added something a little different at the end to build it. I wanna know if people dig it or not. Or if there's anything else I could do to make it better!
Adam,
Thanks for your feedback. I know the music is missing something (likely due to the fact that I am more of a lyricist than a musician). I changed tempo a lot in my previous recording and was trying more of a straight tempo this time around. I don’t know what other chords I could use, so if you have ideas on that let me know!!
March 19, 2014
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I think what you have done with this (taking it from a simple vocal/guitar recording to a studio version with strings and harmony) is very good. I agree with Adam, your voice is beautiful on this. And since music is personal taste, I have to say I like the simple flow of the melody. I think it matches the subject matter.
I know you have recorded this and probably aren’t likely to change it now. However, I think it would move a little better if you took out some of the space in the “Suffocator….....” (chorus?) segment. I would go: “suffocator, my dictator (rest - rest) where’s my savior (rest) I need rest now”. Just a thought.
Finally - I could easily see this as background music in a movie or TV series behind a really moving scene. But I also love it on it’s own merits as just good music.
March 20, 2014
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Suffocator
I washed the tread stains off my blouse
Recall when you first knocked me down
I'll take my life back when you're through
If there's anymore living left to do
Oh, all my bones...
I watched the sun chase down the moon
Inside the stillness of the room
Your breath is filling up my lungs
Force me to say what's on your tongue
Suffocator
My dictator
Where's my savior
I need rest now
I fight the pressure in my soul
That crushes me to fit your mold
Your mouth is shouting at the wind
Your grasp is bruising me again
Suffocator
My dictator
Where's my savior
I need rest now
Suffocator
My dictator
Where's my savior
I need rest now
Oh, all my bones
Broken bones
I'm alone
0
Vocals sound great - very smooth.
I found the accompanying melody a bit bland, however. I don’t think there was enough in the musical side of this song to keep me listening after a first swipe.
It’s not that it’s a boring song - the melody just doesn’t do much beside add notes to back your beautiful voice.
A change in tempo or even introducing new chords could probably work wonders here.
March 19, 2014
0
Adam,
Thanks for your feedback. I know the music is missing something (likely due to the fact that I am more of a lyricist than a musician). I changed tempo a lot in my previous recording and was trying more of a straight tempo this time around. I don’t know what other chords I could use, so if you have ideas on that let me know!!
March 19, 2014
0
I think what you have done with this (taking it from a simple vocal/guitar recording to a studio version with strings and harmony) is very good. I agree with Adam, your voice is beautiful on this. And since music is personal taste, I have to say I like the simple flow of the melody. I think it matches the subject matter.
I know you have recorded this and probably aren’t likely to change it now. However, I think it would move a little better if you took out some of the space in the “Suffocator….....” (chorus?) segment. I would go: “suffocator, my dictator (rest - rest) where’s my savior (rest) I need rest now”. Just a thought.
Finally - I could easily see this as background music in a movie or TV series behind a really moving scene. But I also love it on it’s own merits as just good music.
March 20, 2014
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Adam Tock
Vocals sound great - very smooth.
I found the accompanying melody a bit bland, however. I don’t think there was enough in the musical side of this song to keep me listening after a first swipe.
It’s not that it’s a boring song - the melody just doesn’t do much beside add notes to back your beautiful voice.
A change in tempo or even introducing new chords could probably work wonders here.
March 19, 2014
No members have liked this comment.