Dick Plunk

Lachelle,

This is a really well written song which is so hard to listen to because it makes one sad and angry, at the same time. You have some really profound lines in here, like: “I’ll take my life back when you’re through” and “force me to say what’s on your tongue”.

As disturbing as the subject matter is, I don’t think I would change anything in this song. I think you have painted a powerful picture.

Productionwise - I hear a cello in the background against your sparse guitar voicing.

Lachelle Chaney

Dick,

Thanks for the feedback! Especially the production tip, because I definitely want to get in the studio for this track.

**Any other tips from you or others on what instruments to use and/or where they should come in or if I should use any extra vocals/harmonies in production would be very helpful!!**

I know what you mean about it being hard to listen to… It even makes ME tense when I hear it. I put a lot of emotions into writing this though and tried to be vulnerable with it, so I’m glad you were affected by it.

Lach

Orion DiFranco

Lachelle,

I also hear a cello slowly waving in and out of this song.  I enjoy the way you sing.  Especially at the end of each VS line.

Don Nelson

Hi Lachelle
I like your song - you have a great voice. I guess my only adjustment/advice might be that I wish that the song had a more lock-step cadence to it and not as many stops and starts - to me your arrangement on this song adds a little too much (II think unnecessary) melodrama to what already is a fairly intense song - for me (though of course I may be wrong!) a steady beat delivery of this tune might actually have more impact since you’re not “telegraphing your punches” (as they say) via the stops and starts. But I like the song. As far as cello - yeah that would sound cool on it - maybe even a kind of distant reverb’d piano playing the same chords as the guitar as the song progress to add some gravitas, But good song! Cheers!

Lachelle Chaney

Thanks, Don!

I was actually wondering if I should try to have more of a set tempo in production. Some of the pauses and whatnot may not have been intentional, but simply the product of it being a totally new song, and I’ve never fingerpicked an entire song before, so I had to think more. Haha. But more of it is probably me just feeling the music so intensely because this is a really powerful and vulnerable song for me, so I was kinda into it. I’ll see what it sounds like with a straight tempo though. Thanks a ton!!

Ralf Thiessies

Hi Lachelle,

very powerful song, great lyrics—evocative without being too blatant. as far as i’m concerned I’d keep it as bare-boned as possible or take the whole thing to another level—like antony and the johnson’s did, for example. you can almost feel him re-living all the pain and grief and come out stronger in the end. (hope you know what i mean)
I’d try to avoid any obvious string arrangements (although I do love cellos), they’re too much of a pavlov’s bell. XX

Ralf Thiessies

oh, I was referring to “fistful of love”, by the way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgwp-iQenn4

Lachelle Chaney

Ralf,

Thanks, man. I appreciate you feedback. I, too, want to keep this song as simple as possible. I like the idea people are having about some deep strings peeking in every once in a while, but I definitely don’t want to make it too overpowering. I’ve also been thinking about adding a little piano. I think I’ll just play around with different sounds until I find the right fit… I want it to be chill, but evoke a lot of emotion. Strings and piano seem to add that effect in other similar styles, so I’ll probably just stick to that.

Mackenzie Benish

Lachelle,
I think this is great and full of raw emotion I wouldn’t change it much. I kind of like the starts and stops. I feel like it ebs and flows with the feel of the song and the way you sing it. (Okay hear me out. In my head it sounds awesome) I think it would be sweet if you tried to build it on the end part so…

(Added)
Oh, all my bones…

Suffocator (Little higher)
My dictator (Little higher then the last)
Where’s my savior (Unleash on savior)
I need rest now (Kinda powerful still and let “now” ring with the last pluck of the string in like an epic silence)

Then

(Then pluck the top string that you play only)
Suffocator (silence, pause for your count)
(Then pluck the top string that you play only)
My dictator (silence, pause for your count)
(Start in softly with your picking again till the end)
Where’s my savior
I need rest now

Anyway, if you can even understand what I was trying to say, give it a try or don’t. it is an awesome song and great vocals! ha

Dennis Field

Lachelle,

It’s great to have you on Frettie. You bring such a raw feel to your music that is very real and full of emotion. Nice job. I’d be curious to see another version uploaded with some of the feedback above.

Lachelle Chaney

Already on it, Dennis!! I will be recording this on Sunday in my friend’s home studio and will upload it as soon as it’s done! Hopefully he can help me bring to life what all of you have suggested. If there’s anymore suggestions, please speak now!!

Robert Markham

Yea…very sad and hard to accept that someone has that much control on another individual.  The song speaks very well for all that are under this kind of pressure and lifestyle.  Well written.  Good job!!!