I wrote this based on a Facebook conversation between two music friends and when one of them lamented the state of the music industry, the other replied, "I would have told you had I known you..." The first replied, "We met in the quicksand..."
Any feedback is welcome. I'm pretty happy with it, but if there's something that just doesn't make sense to you, please let me know...
Thank you, James! I had the good fortune to play this for one of the two people involved in the conversation that inspired it…They are both local celebrities in my eyes, so It was one of those moments!
July 30, 2019
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Hey Dave, I like the song - great performance too! Adding some solo guitar fills to bring in some color would be fine. Consider to place your hook/titel in the last line of the chorus - so that it ends on ‘days like these’ to create a better payoff and make it more memorable.
August 06, 2019
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Hi Frank, thanks for checking out my song and for your suggestions…I think there’s room to squeeze the title in at the end of the chorus, great idea, I’ll give that a go! You’re also right about some guitar fills…being a solo performer I find it hard to do both, but I should work on that as well.
Much appreciated,
Dave
August 25, 2019
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Verse
We met in the quicksand
Past the point of no return
Got ourselves in a real jam
Another lesson to learn
Verse
There was nobody coming
No one to save the day
So we just kept on going
And now we’re on our way
Chorus
But on days like these, you know I wonder why
Nobody ever told me that life would make me cry?
And on days like these, I start to understand
That this is up to me, I gotta make a plan
Verse
You would have told me had I known you
When I was starting out.
But by the time you met me,
We were on the battleground
Verse
Now we’re blowing out the windows
And we’re playing for our lives
Yeah, we’re going where we have to
And we’re gonna survive!
Chorus
But on days like these, you know I wonder why
Nobody ever told me that life would make me cry?
And on days like these, I start to understand
That this is up to me, I gotta make a plan
Bridge
This is our call to action
Not gonna take this lying down
Gonna get a reaction
Have more fun than we’re allowed
This is where we make our stand
Time to stick it to “The Man”
We’ve got to live it while we can...
Chorus
’cuz on days like these, you know I wonder why
Nobody ever told me that life would make me cry?
And on days like these, I start to understand
That this is up to me, I gotta make a plan
0
Sweet song. My only comment is that there might be some sort of emotional payoff in the last chorus. Providing the build. Showing off the feelings of the situation. It’s sung well too. Good job man!!
July 30, 2019
0
Thank you, James! I had the good fortune to play this for one of the two people involved in the conversation that inspired it…They are both local celebrities in my eyes, so It was one of those moments!
July 30, 2019
0
Hey Dave, I like the song - great performance too! Adding some solo guitar fills to bring in some color would be fine. Consider to place your hook/titel in the last line of the chorus - so that it ends on ‘days like these’ to create a better payoff and make it more memorable.
August 06, 2019
0
Hi Frank, thanks for checking out my song and for your suggestions…I think there’s room to squeeze the title in at the end of the chorus, great idea, I’ll give that a go! You’re also right about some guitar fills…being a solo performer I find it hard to do both, but I should work on that as well.
Much appreciated,
Dave
August 25, 2019
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James Green
Sweet song. My only comment is that there might be some sort of emotional payoff in the last chorus. Providing the build. Showing off the feelings of the situation. It’s sung well too. Good job man!!
July 30, 2019
No members have liked this comment.