never giving up
any
Hey, Shannon! Thanks for sharing your song with us. I like that you have some movement/tempo to it. The title is interesting. I think you would be well served to get to the chorus after only 1 verse instead of two. Feels like it takes too long to get there. Hope that helps!
Keep writing!
June 21, 2019
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We been running so long i cant remember where we started,
where's home? where's home?
And this roads never ended twisted, winding -can be so dark and so cold- still we go
Hoping for a sign, a beacon of light shining down on us
Knowing theres more than this if we stay focused -keeping our chins up
My mother always promised me that the hardest things in life would pass, they did
Yea she said they don't make thing like they used too- these days, nothing lasts- only this
Told me "that place inside my heart to go- when there's nothing left"
Where I run to hide -and restart- "you know that you're more than that"
CHORUS
OHHH i'm tire of me, you're tired of you oh-oh
Lookin' round, baby we're bound to discover that something true
Listen, that voice inside your head is screaming out
"never give up"
Cause if we do, than all we knew, will never be enough
We were all given names for a reason, do you know what your reason is?
Do you know why?
Yea the words and ways we live by our whole life- tell me are we just breathing to die?
When the sun goes down and you feel the night closing in on us..
Remember the sound of your heart thats beating, can BE so much!!
CHORUS
Bridge
Do we ever see enough?
Are we in love enough?
Can we ever be strong enough?
Will we ever be enough?_______
Listen that voice inside our head is screaming out
"never give up"
Cause if we do, then all we knew- will never be enough
0
Again, lyrics too generic, no picture painted in the lyrics—paint me some details of a scene (“your heart’s so cold, my teeth are chattering”/“two cigarettes in the ashtray, no fire, burnt out, just like me and you”)—I am not suggesting these specific lines, just give the listener something to sink their teeth into…
In part, the reason I mention these things (and it probably seems like I’m giving you an unnecessarily hard time), is that I think I got a glimpse of what you’re really capable of turning out in the song “Little Bit Of Heaven.”.
June 12, 2019
0
Hey, Shannon! Thanks for sharing your song with us. I like that you have some movement/tempo to it. The title is interesting. I think you would be well served to get to the chorus after only 1 verse instead of two. Feels like it takes too long to get there. Hope that helps!
Keep writing!
June 21, 2019
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Bob Abner
Again, lyrics too generic, no picture painted in the lyrics—paint me some details of a scene (“your heart’s so cold, my teeth are chattering”/“two cigarettes in the ashtray, no fire, burnt out, just like me and you”)—I am not suggesting these specific lines, just give the listener something to sink their teeth into…
In part, the reason I mention these things (and it probably seems like I’m giving you an unnecessarily hard time), is that I think I got a glimpse of what you’re really capable of turning out in the song “Little Bit Of Heaven.”.
June 12, 2019
No members have liked this comment.