This song is about people who are facing skepticism when sharing experiences of abuse that they've suffered from.
I would like feedback on the overall song, the lyrics and structure. I would like suggestions for lyrics for the bridge section (currently just saying "na...na...na...")
Thanks so much for the feedback and for taking the time to listen, Frank! I appreciate your thoughts on how people may perceive it based on their experiences. It was inspired by seeing people, particularly women, courageously come forward to share their experiences even though it caused them more hard ache. I like your idea of trying to make it more general if I can do it in a way that maintains the essence and meaning of it for me. Thanks again for your time; I really appreciate it.
May 05, 2019
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Excellent production and musicality, however, in my opinion, the music is a bit on the light side for the subject. That can be a very effective technique, but this is such a tender and personal subject that the light melody may detract.
For singer/soongwriter type environments, I suggest taking it to a minor key. I am not suggesting making it a dirge, but something a little darker might give a deeper perspective on the subject, and help the lyrics stand out rather than bounce.
Having said all that, I do like it.
May 06, 2019
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Lyrically, a “mixed message”—“Tell us about the things he did” vs. “But now it’s time for you to let it be”
Musically, strictly 1 - 4 - 5 chords and the sort of “sing-songy” melody all the way through it seem to give it a fairly superficial musical setting, imho.
Nice voice!
Best wishes with your musical efforts!
May 30, 2019
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Well come and sit down in that chair and tell us what you seen
And we’ll pretend that we are listening
Tell us about the things he did when you were seventeen
That somehow no one else was there to see
No one knows
no one knows but you
There’s nothing to prove the things you say, so we’ll just have to see (let it be)
But we’ll pretend that we have sympathy
It’s your word versus his word then it’s up to us to choose
There’s nothing else that’s left for you to do
No one knows
no one knows but you
I’m sorry about the things you say are in your memory
But now it’s time for you to let him/it be
Nothing that you could say today would make us change our minds
We’re moving on and leaving you behind
No one knows
no one knows but you
1
Hi Andrew, musically I was flashed. I was drawn in from the beginning, this is really a strong melody and a killing catchy chorus. Also great vocals and production.
I’ve never been abused and don’t know anyone in my personal environment who has been, so it may be harder for me to relate to the lyric. If your listener has suffered such experience, it may be different. But to be honest, I think, the song should have a lyric with a more general approach. A theme like this makes it less commercial than it could be.
May 05, 2019
0
Thanks so much for the feedback and for taking the time to listen, Frank! I appreciate your thoughts on how people may perceive it based on their experiences. It was inspired by seeing people, particularly women, courageously come forward to share their experiences even though it caused them more hard ache. I like your idea of trying to make it more general if I can do it in a way that maintains the essence and meaning of it for me. Thanks again for your time; I really appreciate it.
May 05, 2019
0
Excellent production and musicality, however, in my opinion, the music is a bit on the light side for the subject. That can be a very effective technique, but this is such a tender and personal subject that the light melody may detract.
For singer/soongwriter type environments, I suggest taking it to a minor key. I am not suggesting making it a dirge, but something a little darker might give a deeper perspective on the subject, and help the lyrics stand out rather than bounce.
Having said all that, I do like it.
May 06, 2019
0
Lyrically, a “mixed message”—“Tell us about the things he did” vs. “But now it’s time for you to let it be”
Musically, strictly 1 - 4 - 5 chords and the sort of “sing-songy” melody all the way through it seem to give it a fairly superficial musical setting, imho.
Nice voice!
Best wishes with your musical efforts!
May 30, 2019
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Frank Renfordt
Hi Andrew, musically I was flashed. I was drawn in from the beginning, this is really a strong melody and a killing catchy chorus. Also great vocals and production.
I’ve never been abused and don’t know anyone in my personal environment who has been, so it may be harder for me to relate to the lyric. If your listener has suffered such experience, it may be different. But to be honest, I think, the song should have a lyric with a more general approach. A theme like this makes it less commercial than it could be.
May 05, 2019