Just a title from my hook book I took and turned into a song
Any general reactions would be fine.
Richard,
I like your song. I ‘hear’ a Birds/Eagles vibe with a 12-string and lush harmonies in a studio production.
There are small things in the lyric, as Philip mentions, you may have to clean up, but for me the overall feel is there and I like it.
Be well. Jack
May 14, 2017
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Hi Ric & Fayh,
I really like the opening line however I think the word is lay in this context but I would have to look it up.
Also the line “I’ve been lost” (present perfect) makes me this you have been lost until now. if you are still lost then present tense (I am lost or I’m lost) makes more sense to me here.
I agree with most of what Philip says except I would keep the chorus the way it is and change V2 to say something like you are left with memories (since you can’t forget them.)
Just some thoughts.
Cool song and imagery.
Brian
May 14, 2017
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HARD ACT TO FOLLOW
Scattered pieces of a puzzle, lying on the table
That’s what my heart felt like ever since you left
I’ve been lost without a compass, searching for my angel
Hope someday I’ll come across her, but I haven’t found her yet
You’re a HARD ACT TO FOLLOW
I can’t forget that happiness we knew
You’re a HARD ACT TO FOLLOW
How am I supposed to find another you?
Summer evenings on the porch swing, rocking you gently
How softly I’d caress you, never thought those times end
But paradise crumbled, I’m filled with faded memories
Your headin’ for the highway’s left me twisting in the wind
CH
I keep wakin’ up each morning, to see what each day brings
Searching for my Juliet, waitin’ in the wings
(last CH) But you’re a HARD……..
Copyright Ric & Fayth Kirk
1
I haven’t listened to the song yet, but reading the lyrics, there’s a few things that jump out.
I think in V1 “what my heart felt like” should be “what my heart feels like”. In V2, the “faded memories” phrase is cliche these days. See if you can find another adjective to describe lost memories. However, that phrase doesn’t really fit since in the chorus you say “I can’t forget that happiness we knew”. For that particular line, I think “forget THE happiness” works better. In V2, I’m assuming the line should be “those times would end”. In V1, I’d drop the “I” before “havent found her yet”. Better yet, drop the “but” and leave the “I”.
Just my quick thoughts. Will take a listen later, but thanks for posting.
Phillip
May 09, 2017
0
Richard,
I like your song. I ‘hear’ a Birds/Eagles vibe with a 12-string and lush harmonies in a studio production.
There are small things in the lyric, as Philip mentions, you may have to clean up, but for me the overall feel is there and I like it.
Be well. Jack
May 14, 2017
0
Hi Ric & Fayh,
I really like the opening line however I think the word is lay in this context but I would have to look it up.
Also the line “I’ve been lost” (present perfect) makes me this you have been lost until now. if you are still lost then present tense (I am lost or I’m lost) makes more sense to me here.
I agree with most of what Philip says except I would keep the chorus the way it is and change V2 to say something like you are left with memories (since you can’t forget them.)
Just some thoughts.
Cool song and imagery.
Brian
May 14, 2017
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Phillip Lemmonds
I haven’t listened to the song yet, but reading the lyrics, there’s a few things that jump out.
I think in V1 “what my heart felt like” should be “what my heart feels like”. In V2, the “faded memories” phrase is cliche these days. See if you can find another adjective to describe lost memories. However, that phrase doesn’t really fit since in the chorus you say “I can’t forget that happiness we knew”. For that particular line, I think “forget THE happiness” works better. In V2, I’m assuming the line should be “those times would end”. In V1, I’d drop the “I” before “havent found her yet”. Better yet, drop the “but” and leave the “I”.
Just my quick thoughts. Will take a listen later, but thanks for posting.
Phillip
May 09, 2017