Co-write with Kim Ouellette. Written for a female singer.
Any and all feedback appreciated, but please don't judge the song on my poor singing ability... LOL!
I really like like the intro. instrumentation, and the personality in this song. In my experience with friends and dancing, I know a lot of men are not fans of dancing and the ones that do dance normally have this fun-corky personality. I think it would be more fun if you changed the line when my hips are talkin, Honey, (they don’t lie) I have heard hips are talkin and don’t lie together a lot in songs to something not as normal but funny (you feel butterflies)-haha-I know you can come up with something better than butterflies.
April 29, 2017
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Thanks for the feedback Amber. This song is in the rewrite process and hope to have the updated version shortly, if I can make time for it. Too many other projects going on…
Phillip
April 29, 2017
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Sneak That Peek V3
Verse 1:
Painted on my jeans, headin' uptown
Gonna get flirty and gonna get down
Best friends out for some sexy girl fun
Party big time till the nite is done
(Are ya watchin'?)
Practicin’ my bold teasin’ techniques
Not takin’ any prisoners, no, not for keeps
See ya watchin’ me from across the room
Your eyes get bigger when I shake my groove
(Caught ya lookin')
Chorus:
Did I make you look?
Did ya sneak a peek?
Likin’ what I shook?
Does it make ya weak?
If you like my wiggle
And it makes you whistle
Go ahead and look….
Sneak that peek!
Verse 2:
Did ya catch my wink, can ya play my game?
Eyes on me makes it hard to be tame
Fire's gettin' hotter, the more you stare
Tension building like a double dog dare
(Come on now)
Chorus:Repeat
Bridge:
Swingin' all around, then side to side
When my hips are talkin', honey, they don't lie
An old sensation, a new temptation
Looks like you're starting to sweat
Keep on watchin' 'cause I ain't done yet
Chorus:Repeat
(I know you were watchin' me)
0
Hey, Phillip! Thanks for sharing your song. I like that it’s a fun song with some tempo. Structure is good. I haven’t heard that title before, so that’s good, too.
However, I’d watch out for lines like “painted on jeans.” It’s just so cliche that it loses my attention. Especially when that’s the first line of your song. I like that you’re starting off with an image, but your song will be better served if it’s more of an original, attention-grabbing image.
Just a thought.
December 22, 2016
0
I really like like the intro. instrumentation, and the personality in this song. In my experience with friends and dancing, I know a lot of men are not fans of dancing and the ones that do dance normally have this fun-corky personality. I think it would be more fun if you changed the line when my hips are talkin, Honey, (they don’t lie) I have heard hips are talkin and don’t lie together a lot in songs to something not as normal but funny (you feel butterflies)-haha-I know you can come up with something better than butterflies.
April 29, 2017
1
Thanks for the feedback Amber. This song is in the rewrite process and hope to have the updated version shortly, if I can make time for it. Too many other projects going on…
Phillip
April 29, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Phillip! Thanks for sharing your song. I like that it’s a fun song with some tempo. Structure is good. I haven’t heard that title before, so that’s good, too.
However, I’d watch out for lines like “painted on jeans.” It’s just so cliche that it loses my attention. Especially when that’s the first line of your song. I like that you’re starting off with an image, but your song will be better served if it’s more of an original, attention-grabbing image.
Just a thought.
December 22, 2016
No members have liked this comment.