Dennis Field

Hey Phillip! Sorry it’s taken so long to get you some feedback. The melody to this is catchy. My overall thoughts is the song felt long to me though. Needs something to punch it or contrast what’s here. I appreciate you sharing with everyone. Have you connected with Dick Plunk on here yet? If not, you should. He’s a great guy who given some folks some really detailed feedback. Very similar style to you (I think). Looking forward to seeing what else you post.

Phillip Lemmonds

Thanks Dennis.  Structurally, I need to drop a verse and add a bridge if I continue with this song.  Thematically, I’m not sure it’s worth pursuing.  First thing another writer ask me was what artist is going to sing a song about cheating on their woman?  While I meant for the song to be about honesty and forgiveness, that was her takeaway.  Maybe if rewritten in 3rd person…

Mary Segato

Hi Phillip, good start, but I agree with Dennis that it is too long, and a bit repetitive in the story. Maybe you could turn it around somewhat and bring something more positive into it. I have written a few of my own songs completely over, especially when I was starting out. Sometimes taking a break from the song and then going back with a fresh mind helps. Good luck with it.

Phillip Lemmonds

Thanks for the input Mary.  I’m working on a couple of other projects now but will come back to this one later.  I still think there’s a song in their somewhere…

George Irwin

Agreed, Phillip. There’s a world of cheatin’ and regret songs out there, so it’s clear they resonate with people. I Kissed Her isn’t a bad title, either. Maybe spin it so you draw the listener in with what sounds like a guy-meets-girl story, and then twist it to reveal the woman at home and the regret.

In any case, I agree with Mary. Rewrites can be very worthwhile.

Jayne Sachs

Hi Phillip—I think this song has some hooky elements.  I like the CH melody.  I feel like it doesn’t lift much from the verse melody though.  But by itself, I like the melody of the CH.  I agree that the song can be condensed and you may want to try to bring the listener in with more visuals.  What about her or the scene or his marriage made him stray? As of now we don’t know much about the married couple or much about the scene of the kiss, etc.. Not that we have to know much about the scene of the kiss, but maybe.  But for country, especially for country, songs need to paint the picture of the story with a lot of visual elements.  I think you have a song in here though. Good work!

Amber Lewis

I kissed her is a great hook/title. I think you should try using some of that bluegrass with this song and up the tempo a bit with the chorus it could help with the lengthy feeling and spice it up.