A little Christmas diddy. Kinda sad. Mostly a song about hope. Quick worktape!
I would love any and all feedback - especially about the pre-chorus. I think it sucks and doesn't' move the story along. Doesn't really relate to the concept.
It’s really pretty, Sarah! I love pretty melancholy stuff. I’ll need to dig into the lyrics more (I was listening while multitasking, honestly). But the melody and your performance make me WANT to go back and listen again. Good work.
March 20, 2015
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Dick - Thanks for listening, man! I hear you with the contradiction of words and music. I think if I could figure out a slightly less awkward way to pull it off, the contrast might be interesting. Just enough to be cool, but not as much as there is no (which is just plain confusing!)
March 23, 2015
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Brent - Thank you so much for listening! Even if it was just with one ear
I appreciate you taking the time to comment!
March 23, 2015
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It’s a really pretty song here, nice melody and strong message. I wonder if a string of coloured lights might give more contrast to a world gone black and white. I assume you mean in the one verse that things have been stolen from the yard.
April 09, 2015
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@David - Interesting point with the colored lights! And yup, decorations and things getting stolen from the front yard.
April 09, 2015
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String of Silver Lights
© 2014 Sarah Spencer
Every day the neighborhood gets darker every how.
But momma still insists we put 'em up.
And every year the snow comes down just a little harder,
But my dadd still nails them in the roof.
When your happiness needs holding up,
And you think things cant get bad enough.
There's a string of silver lights,
Radiant in a no star sky.
There's a string of silver lights,
In a world gone black and white.
Kids that were my classmates, were my neighbors, were my friends,
Started taking things out of the yard (<-- is this clear?)
And we still watch the news but when we do we watch on mute,
So nobody steals the joy still in our hearts.
When your happiness needs holding up,
And you think things cant get bad enough.
There's a string of silver lights,
Radiant in a no star sky.
There's a string of silver lights,
In a world gone black and
World gone black and
World gone black and white.
1
Beautiful melody - and the pre-chorus is one of the prettiest parts. I really like this, even though it is a little sad. I’m not sure why you don’t like the PC. I think it fits well.
I do think you need to develop the story just a little more. It has such a melancholy feel to it, but then you say “the joy still in our hearts”. That felt almost like a contradiction to the rest of the lyric ( to me anyway).
Regardless - it is beautiful.
December 11, 2014
0
It’s really pretty, Sarah! I love pretty melancholy stuff. I’ll need to dig into the lyrics more (I was listening while multitasking, honestly). But the melody and your performance make me WANT to go back and listen again. Good work.
March 20, 2015
0
Dick - Thanks for listening, man! I hear you with the contradiction of words and music. I think if I could figure out a slightly less awkward way to pull it off, the contrast might be interesting. Just enough to be cool, but not as much as there is no (which is just plain confusing!)
March 23, 2015
0
Brent - Thank you so much for listening! Even if it was just with one ear
I appreciate you taking the time to comment!
March 23, 2015
0
It’s a really pretty song here, nice melody and strong message. I wonder if a string of coloured lights might give more contrast to a world gone black and white. I assume you mean in the one verse that things have been stolen from the yard.
April 09, 2015
0
@David - Interesting point with the colored lights! And yup, decorations and things getting stolen from the front yard.
April 09, 2015
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Dick Plunk
Beautiful melody - and the pre-chorus is one of the prettiest parts. I really like this, even though it is a little sad. I’m not sure why you don’t like the PC. I think it fits well.
I do think you need to develop the story just a little more. It has such a melancholy feel to it, but then you say “the joy still in our hearts”. That felt almost like a contradiction to the rest of the lyric ( to me anyway).
Regardless - it is beautiful.
December 11, 2014