About following your dreams. I moved up to Nashville from my hometown in FL to pursue a songwriting career, and this is an autobiographical tune about staying positive through it all.
I'd love to know any and all your thoughts! But I've always wondered about this one - is it too whiny? I don't want to be whiny! Waa!
I think this song captures what you may have been experiencing very nicely.
The line “Ive got to fill up on the fearlessness and not let it get to low.” is a nice line. Because, I think it is relatable to many people going through a variety of transitional experiences. Opportunities happen because of the ability face the fears. It is a nice reminder.
I think you could probably do some fine tuning in the second part of the song, primarily towards the end of the song I feel like the lyrics are not as strong as the first verse and chorus.
More specifically around the time where you mention being “a small fish in a big pond”. I think that is where the song takes a switch from having a tone of being confident and chasing your dreams, to almost second guessing where you may fit in. I’m not saying I don’t like that change of tone, but perhaps the lyrics could be rewritten to be stronger like in the first verse.
Again, great stuff. Looking forward to hearing others!
July 09, 2013
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@Julie, thank you so much!
@Dennis, I hear ya! I def wanted to touch on that idea of second guessing yourself. It wouldn’t be totally honest if I said I was completely confident in my abilities 100% of the time, haha. I think that second pre-chorus (right after the second verse, “small fish/bigger pond” line) may not be worded all that well. I think you’re right - there’s probably a much better way to get that point across! Thank you so much for listening.
July 15, 2013
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Sarah,
Don’t get me wrong, I love the honesty that comes out in this song. LIke you said, just a few tweaks to that lyrics and I think it will pull it together.
BTW, have you listened to Caryn Womack’s music on Frettie yet? I think you will like it. You both have a similar style.
July 16, 2013
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So funny that you said that, Dennis, because I just randomly stumbled upon this song and thought “Wow, I really love this!”
It’s great, Sarah. Simple, but it’s still dynamic. I love the “someone take a chance on me” line. I think you could tweak some of the other lines in the bridge, though, and make it a little better. They’re skewing almost a little too literal, and the rest of the lyrics in the song are a bit stronger. Overall, it’s wonderful!
Also—not whiny. I have that concern all the time (When I recorded my first song, I nearly died because I thought I sounded like a chipmunk! haha) You’ve got a great tone. It’s really clear and pure.
August 02, 2013
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Stream of Consciousness:
You know how to tell a story.
Your voice is so easy to listen to.
“Gotta keep my fingers crossed, and put on a better show.”
You don’t sound jaded to me.
You’ve paid your dues.
“Gotta fill up on my fearlessness.”
Someone take a chance on me.
Gotta get picked up.
“Gotta fill up on my fearlessness and never let it get too low.”
Long road.
November 20, 2013
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Another nice one - good job!
I only wish there might be some way towards the end of the song (unless maybe this sounds too trite) to widen the scope of the song so that less an autobiographical story about your personal determination to succeed in Nashville -and perhaps more of a universal commentary on succeeding against adversity?
Again , that may be too cliche’d an approach - and if so - so be it - certainly the song is already a good one now!
November 21, 2013
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I think this song captures what you may have been experiencing very nicely.
The line “Ive got to fill up on the fearlessness and not let it get to low.” is a nice line. Because, I think it is relatable to many people going through a variety of transitional experiences. Opportunities happen because of the ability face the fears. It is a nice reminder.
I think you could probably do some fine tuning in the second part of the song, primarily towards the end of the song I feel like the lyrics are not as strong as the first verse and chorus.
More specifically around the time where you mention being “a small fish in a big pond”. I think that is where the song takes a switch from having a tone of being confident and chasing your dreams, to almost second guessing where you may fit in. I’m not saying I don’t like that change of tone, but perhaps the lyrics could be rewritten to be stronger like in the first verse.
Again, great stuff. Looking forward to hearing others!
July 09, 2013
0
@Julie, thank you so much!
@Dennis, I hear ya! I def wanted to touch on that idea of second guessing yourself. It wouldn’t be totally honest if I said I was completely confident in my abilities 100% of the time, haha. I think that second pre-chorus (right after the second verse, “small fish/bigger pond” line) may not be worded all that well. I think you’re right - there’s probably a much better way to get that point across! Thank you so much for listening.
July 15, 2013
0
Sarah,
Don’t get me wrong, I love the honesty that comes out in this song. LIke you said, just a few tweaks to that lyrics and I think it will pull it together.
BTW, have you listened to Caryn Womack’s music on Frettie yet? I think you will like it. You both have a similar style.
July 16, 2013
0
So funny that you said that, Dennis, because I just randomly stumbled upon this song and thought “Wow, I really love this!”
It’s great, Sarah. Simple, but it’s still dynamic. I love the “someone take a chance on me” line. I think you could tweak some of the other lines in the bridge, though, and make it a little better. They’re skewing almost a little too literal, and the rest of the lyrics in the song are a bit stronger. Overall, it’s wonderful!
Also—not whiny. I have that concern all the time (When I recorded my first song, I nearly died because I thought I sounded like a chipmunk! haha) You’ve got a great tone. It’s really clear and pure.
August 02, 2013
0
Stream of Consciousness:
You know how to tell a story.
Your voice is so easy to listen to.
“Gotta keep my fingers crossed, and put on a better show.”
You don’t sound jaded to me.
You’ve paid your dues.
“Gotta fill up on my fearlessness.”
Someone take a chance on me.
Gotta get picked up.
“Gotta fill up on my fearlessness and never let it get too low.”
Long road.
November 20, 2013
0
Another nice one - good job!
I only wish there might be some way towards the end of the song (unless maybe this sounds too trite) to widen the scope of the song so that less an autobiographical story about your personal determination to succeed in Nashville -and perhaps more of a universal commentary on succeeding against adversity?
Again , that may be too cliche’d an approach - and if so - so be it - certainly the song is already a good one now!
November 21, 2013
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Julie Field
Nice track! I don’t think its whiny at all. Great voice!
July 09, 2013
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