Kēvin Clayton Jr.

Sarah,

I really enjoyed the feel of this song. There are some great moments in the chorus especially!

I was on the fence about the concept until the bridge. Unless I’m mistaken, the song is about the struggle of love when it’s a ‘one foot in, one foot out’ kind of relationship.

The telling lyric in the bridge however, would probably serve better as, ‘Doin’ what you can when you SHOULD…’ I’d replace ‘could’ with ‘should’ simply because if your partner does what they ‘can’ when they ‘could,’ everything would be peachy. But if they did what they ‘can’ only when they ‘should,’ then it would be like they’re doing things only because they have to. Even though love is a choice, you still ‘want’ to make that choice. Am I making sense?

The structure is fine, I wouldn’t change anything in regards to that. Musically, the song is strong as it stays entertaining and changes when it needs to. The only thing I’d work on is the concept communication in the lyrics, which I believe, would be a few VERY minor adjustments.

Thanks for sharing!

Dennis Field

Sarah, Thanks for sharing another great song with us on Frettie. I like the “edge” to this. I agree with Kevin, the chorus is really cool. I can see it really catching on. As far as feedback goes, You keep me engaged in the right places, but I too get a bit lost in the story, but I absolutely love the way the song feels in terms of vocals.

Dick Plunk

Sarah, 
Love it. Very commercial in my opinion. If I heard it right, it’s verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus, which is a very traditional (and Nashville like) structure, so I think you are good. I love the concept and think you have presented it well. Tremendous production.

JT Hillier

Sarah,
You have a real knack for commercial music, you can tell it’s something that you really get. This song is filled with hooks both melodically and lyrically. Songwriters that have this ability to pack punches, stacking hook after hook after hook, can really go a long way with most commercial music listeners so good for you for having that natural undersanding of catchiness and listenability. The only thing is that all these peices and hooks and punches don’t really come together to make a clear picture. You have a lot of great one liners and I love your word choice and use of catch-phrases but these catch phrases don’t really have a lot of cohesion, some of them seem unrelated and even can conflict with what was said the in the line that came before it. I think this may be intentional in this song, but for me I’m just really struggling to put all these pieces together, pieces that I really like a lot. I hope this feedback is helpful. Overall I think you really have a lot going for you as a musician and songwriter. Still a really catchy song with some serious commercial potential

Joey Hendrickson

I think if you’re a dude in relationship and you hear this song come through the radio, it would makes you check yourself.  Very powerful lyrics