Dude is trying to walk away, but he can't. This is song topic song prompt #3. I've written more in the last 3 weeks than I have in the last 6 months...
cut me some slack on the vocals...I love the chord voicings but that wasn't great for my range. Tell me something I don't know 
Matt - I love the twist in the chorus (from “turn back to you” to “turn my back to you”) - genius. My problem with this song is that I feel there is too much space in it. I kept wanting it to move a little faster. The minor key and the sad verses serve to make a “heavy” atmosphere. Then when you add the elongated lines, for me, it just becomes too drawn out. Keep working it. There;s some good stuff in there.
February 24, 2014
Thanks for the feedback, gentlemen. Dennis, I feel the same way about the story in the chorus but am wondering a better way to communicate the pull and repulse of this relationship for our singer. He can’t get enough of her but realizes he might not be strong enough to get away. And then to Dick’s point, I love the twist of the lyric “turn back to you, turn my back to you.” I’ll have to figure out a way to tell more of the story without giving that up. I agree this song is semi-incomplete.
Dick - the space was a conscious choice. This is one of the few songs I’ve written where I could actually hear the production going on and was writing to a certain song format with certain instruments in mind. Some of the space I created vocally leave room for other stuff. I usually sing all free space out of songs lol
February 25, 2014
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Love the first verse. Metaphorically it is strong. This song needs to be finished and worked. Good job!
February 28, 2014
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She's not quite like drinking but to me it feels the same
I lose my self control and I can’t let go
When will I walk away, walk away
Turn back to you, back to you
Turn back to you, turn my back to you
Just the sound of her voice the way she says the words
She can lie or scream doesn’t matter to me
And they’ve got a whiskey burn, whiskey burn
1
Matt,
It’s great to see you using the SongTopic prompts to keep inspired and motivated to write more lately.
This is very catchy. I can see the potential for sure and why you really wanted to push your range. Thanks for sharing and keep working on this. I think with more details and perhaps more of a richer story the chorus will really be a nice punch.
February 24, 2014
1
Matt - I love the twist in the chorus (from “turn back to you” to “turn my back to you”) - genius. My problem with this song is that I feel there is too much space in it. I kept wanting it to move a little faster. The minor key and the sad verses serve to make a “heavy” atmosphere. Then when you add the elongated lines, for me, it just becomes too drawn out. Keep working it. There;s some good stuff in there.
February 24, 2014
0
Thanks for the feedback, gentlemen. Dennis, I feel the same way about the story in the chorus but am wondering a better way to communicate the pull and repulse of this relationship for our singer. He can’t get enough of her but realizes he might not be strong enough to get away. And then to Dick’s point, I love the twist of the lyric “turn back to you, turn my back to you.” I’ll have to figure out a way to tell more of the story without giving that up. I agree this song is semi-incomplete.
Dick - the space was a conscious choice. This is one of the few songs I’ve written where I could actually hear the production going on and was writing to a certain song format with certain instruments in mind. Some of the space I created vocally leave room for other stuff. I usually sing all free space out of songs lol
February 25, 2014
0
Love the first verse. Metaphorically it is strong. This song needs to be finished and worked. Good job!
February 28, 2014
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Dennis Field
Matt,
It’s great to see you using the SongTopic prompts to keep inspired and motivated to write more lately.
This is very catchy. I can see the potential for sure and why you really wanted to push your range. Thanks for sharing and keep working on this. I think with more details and perhaps more of a richer story the chorus will really be a nice punch.
February 24, 2014