True story from my life, working in my dad's store and learning how to play guitar during breaks.
(Minor changed have already been incorporated in the lyrics that are not on the recording yet.)
I would like to know if the meaning is clear. Is it OK that I start the song by talking the first chorus rather than singing it?
Thanks for listening and for the thoughtful review. I do want the last chorus/verse to have impact so I will take another look at it.
February 04, 2014
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Benny, I really enjoyed your story. I think speaking the first chorus is right as it sets the tone for the rest of the song. I like that you end the song by singing it.
February 06, 2014
Benny, I’m afraid I can’t comment on the music or talking the first chorus as I can’t get the songs to play on my computer. However, in answer to your question about the meaning it comes across nice and clear to me. A great job of story telling that I think flows nicely as far as the lyrics. I just wish I could figure out why I can’t get the music to play as I’d love to hear it. Keep up the good work.
Brian Smith
February 16, 2014
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I like the treatment and the theme comes across clearly. The clean guitar accomp is just right too.
The spoken intro works, matches the style of the vocal and leads in nicely.
June 23, 2014
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THE MUSIC TREE
(COPYRIGHT JBPITSINGER 2013)
The ancient tree stood all alone where the corner store had been
Spent many hours there in her shade with my guitar in hand
Dreaming about some teenage crush and writing simple songs
About lovers I had never loved and things I’d never done
HOW I DREADED SATURDAY MORNINGS, ‘CAUSE JUST BEFORE DAYBREAK
MY DAD WOULD COME INTO MY ROOM AND GIVE MY BED A SHAKE
DRAG ME FROM MY WARM COCOON AND MAKE ME GO WITH HIM
TO OUR COUNTRY STORE TO DO MY CHORES AND HELP US MAKE A LIVING
WE’D CLIMB INTO HIS BUICK, AND WE’D HEAD ON OUT OF TOWN
DAD WOULD LIGHT A CIGARETTE AND ROLL THE WINDOW DOWN
AND I WOULD SIT THERE SHIV’RIN’, WISHING I WAS STILL IN BED
WHILE THE SMOKE AND THE EARLY MORNING CHILL WHIPPED AROUND MY HEAD
The ancient tree stood all alone where the corner store had been
Spent many hours there in her shade with my guitar in hand
Dreaming about some teenage crush and writing simple songs
About lovers I had never loved and things I’d never done
AS HE TURNED THE LOCK I’D DANCE AROUND, SHIVERIN’ WITH ALL MY MIGHT
IT WAS COLD IN THERE, YOU COULD SEE YOUR BREATH AS WE FLIPPED ON THE LIGHTS
I’D GO BACK TO THE BOTTLE ROOM, FETCH A BAG OF COAL
AND STOKE THE OLD POT BELLIED STOVE ‘TIL IT BEGAN TO GLOW
I STILL HEAR THE SOUND OF THE WOODEN FLOOR CREAKING UNDERNEATH OUR FEET
AND THE WHINING OF THE BANDSAW AS MY DAD CUT UP THE MEAT
BUT TIME AND PROGRESS CAN’T BE STOPPED EVEN IN A SOUTHERN TOWN
DAD LEFT US SEVERAL YEARS AGO BEFORE THEY TORE IT DOWN
Now there’s an empty lot on the corner where the old tree used to stand
And a sign proclaims a fast food joint some company has planned
If I were rich I’d bought that land and saved that ancient tree
For I believe some magic way she still remembered me
I’d once again sit under her and write a brand new song
About lovers I wish I’d loved and things I should have done
0
Benny, Great job as always telling the story. I actually really liked the spoken aspect to this. The way you speak the first “choirs” and sing it the second time is really nice. By singing it the second time it really makes the chorus stand out and tell the story about the tree. I also like how it made me think “Hey was that the first verse.” It also has a nice Red Sovine flare to it, who I really enjoy listening to.
Through this whole song, I get a nice story book feel.
My only bit of critique is the last verse/chorus. I just felt like by chaining the words but singing this like the “chorus” I felt like it lost impact.
I love the last verse. The lines… “But time and progress can’t be stopped even in a southern town. Dad left us several years ago before they tore it down.”
It says so much in such a simple way.
All in all, I enjoyed this very much. Thanks for sharing your story and it was great to learn about the “Music Tree”. I look forward to what others think.
February 04, 2014
0
Thanks for listening and for the thoughtful review. I do want the last chorus/verse to have impact so I will take another look at it.
February 04, 2014
1
Benny, I really enjoyed your story. I think speaking the first chorus is right as it sets the tone for the rest of the song. I like that you end the song by singing it.
February 06, 2014
0
Benny, I’m afraid I can’t comment on the music or talking the first chorus as I can’t get the songs to play on my computer. However, in answer to your question about the meaning it comes across nice and clear to me. A great job of story telling that I think flows nicely as far as the lyrics. I just wish I could figure out why I can’t get the music to play as I’d love to hear it. Keep up the good work.
Brian Smith
February 16, 2014
0
I like the treatment and the theme comes across clearly. The clean guitar accomp is just right too.
The spoken intro works, matches the style of the vocal and leads in nicely.
June 23, 2014
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Dennis Field
Benny, Great job as always telling the story. I actually really liked the spoken aspect to this. The way you speak the first “choirs” and sing it the second time is really nice. By singing it the second time it really makes the chorus stand out and tell the story about the tree. I also like how it made me think “Hey was that the first verse.” It also has a nice Red Sovine flare to it, who I really enjoy listening to.
Through this whole song, I get a nice story book feel.
My only bit of critique is the last verse/chorus. I just felt like by chaining the words but singing this like the “chorus” I felt like it lost impact.
I love the last verse. The lines… “But time and progress can’t be stopped even in a southern town. Dad left us several years ago before they tore it down.”
It says so much in such a simple way.
All in all, I enjoyed this very much. Thanks for sharing your story and it was great to learn about the “Music Tree”. I look forward to what others think.
February 04, 2014
No members have liked this comment.