THE UNMARRIED MAN
Copyright jbpitsinger 2013 all rights reserved


YOU BRAG ABOUT WHERE WE ARE, AND YOU TALK ABOUT WHERE WE’VE BEEN
AND YOU ASK ME IF I HAD IT ALL TO DO OVER, WOULD I DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN
WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING HONEY, I WOULDN’T TAKE A MILLION FOR YOU
BUT IF SOMEHOW THE CLOCK TURNED BACK, HERE’S EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD DO

I’D PLAY POKER EVERY NIGHT I’D PICK MY NOSE WITH SHEER DELIGHT
YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE THE AMOUNT OF GOLF THAT I WOULD PLAY
INVEST MY MONEY IN A BIKE, YOU KNOW A HARLEY’S WHAT I LIKE
I’D BE A SINGLE MAN UNTIL MY DYING DAY

I WOULDN’T WEAR NOTHING BUT MY JEANS, I’D EAT EVERY MEAL IN BETWEEN
I’D GO FISHING FOUR OR MAYBE FIVE TIMES A WEEK
IN MY NEW BOAT AND MY NEW TRUCK, FOUR WHEEL DRIVE & ALL JACKED UP
I’D DRIVE THAT MINI VAN OFF IN THE NEAREST CREEK

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING HONEY, I WOULDN’T TAKE A MILLION FOR YOU
BUT IF SOMEHOW THE CLOCK TURNED BACK, HERE’S EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD DO

I’D NEVER WAKE UP BEFORE NOON, I’D SMOKE CIGARS IN EVERY ROOM
I’D NEVER SWEEP THE FLOOR OR WASH THE DIRTY DISHES
I’D HAVE TV’S ALL OVER THE PLACE, SHOWING BALL GAMES AND AUTO RACES
EXCEPT FOR THREE OR FOUR TUNED IN TO PORNO FLICKSES

GET ME A SPORTY LITTLE RAG-TOP CAR, MAYBE A VETTE OR A FARRARI
DONATE ALL MY SUITS AND TIES TO THE RESCUE MISSION
I’D PAY A COOK, I’D GET A MAID, I’D FIND A HOOKER TO GET ME LAID
GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I HAVE BEEN A-MISSIN’

WHY DID I DO THIS TO START WITH?
YOU KNOW MARRIAGE LICENSES AUGHT TO HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE, LIKE MILK
NOW, HONEY, DON’T GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT
I, I DIDN’T REALLY MEAN IT
NO, NO SWEETIE, DON’T DO THAT
WHERE YOU GOIN’ SUGAR PLUM
YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT MINI VAN