As a boy and young man I have had dreams and with a rocky upbringing, my dreams seemed to feel more like home, from being a super hero, to hitting the first home run of the game to walking down winding paths that go nowhere, but yet go somewhere.
I have always taken on music by myself with not much feedback. Would love and appreciate any that can help! Thanks!
This was written with the idea that I never felt alone in my dreams. I sing from my point of view and the point of view of . . .well that “other” person, spirit, God, . . .whatever . . .
I have a tendency to go back and forth as you mentioned. The song described scenes from a few dreams repeated through life.
January 18, 2014
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
I'm walking into the trees;
wearing expressions and shoes on my feet,
Well the worn path is laid out before you;
it leads you to a place you've been before,
To a place where the forecast calls for snow,
To a place where my dreams feel more like home,
Now your looking out at the sea;
next to someone who's face you can't even see,
You feel like you've known them forever;
they've lead you to a place that feels so nice,
And here's the place when I sleep I wanna go
And here's the place where my dreams . . .
I feel adrenaline pump in my veins,
my bodies all covered in rain,
Lightning filters my eyes and victoriously I soar into the sky,
Now with the battle won, I begin to fly . . .
So here's a place when I sleep I wanna go,
and here's the place where the forecast calls for snow,
Oh and here we are where my dreams feel more like home.
0
Really pretty melody and good visuals. The only critique I have tis that you keep changing pronouns which is confusing. You start out with “I” then change to “you”. Then the chorus shifts to “my” with the second verse going back to “you”. I wasn’t sure if there was someone with you or what. But other than that - cool song.
January 12, 2014
0
This was written with the idea that I never felt alone in my dreams. I sing from my point of view and the point of view of . . .well that “other” person, spirit, God, . . .whatever . . .
I have a tendency to go back and forth as you mentioned. The song described scenes from a few dreams repeated through life.
January 18, 2014
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
Dick Plunk
Really pretty melody and good visuals. The only critique I have tis that you keep changing pronouns which is confusing. You start out with “I” then change to “you”. Then the chorus shifts to “my” with the second verse going back to “you”. I wasn’t sure if there was someone with you or what. But other than that - cool song.
January 12, 2014
No members have liked this comment.