Basically this song describes a feeling of being lost and then finding yourself again. It could be from god or a person that you have strived to please over the years. Sometimes you have to fall down to get up again.
This song is not finished or recorded at a studio. So I will take any feedback I can get.
Matt Rees,
Im amazed at how fast this community is willing to give feedback.
Thanks man all of that is solid advice.
December 06, 2013
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Orion,
Love the Faaaaaaaalllll Down! In the Chorus. It really pops the Chorus nicely and contrast the simplicity of the song as a whole. It really pulls me right into the song and makes me want to keep listening.
I didn’t think about it at first, but I agree with Matt on the Eagle Eye Cherry feel this could have once in the studio.
Glad to see you shared it. I’m looking forward to your other music and happy to see you are getting some value from Frettie!
December 06, 2013
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Orion,
Love the groove. Love your phrasing. The only thing that bothered me (minor thing) is that you contradict yourself. In the chorus you say: “I will never fall down”. Yet in the second verse, you say: “I will fall down and get up again”. Maybe to keep the thought, but not seemingly contradict yourself, you could say something like: “I stumble then get up again.”
Other than that - great song.
Dick
December 06, 2013
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VS1
Laying down and sinking into my bed
You were looking at me from above
and I wasn't strong
My consequence has made me realize
I never see your absolute eyes
Chorus
I will listen now
I will never fall down
VS2
Pushing forward and finding my name
Everything has brought me shame today
I will fall down and get up again
To show you I'm proud
Bridge:
I've made my mistake today
I'm here to stay
0
Good dynamics, especially the guitar in verse 2, the bridge, and where you’ve placed the starts and stops. I would change the word “proud” to “strong” or something to keep continuity of theme, which is good and identifiable.
When thinking of instrumentation for a studio cut, this song would sound great with a sound like Eagle Eye Cherry’s song “Save Tonight,” or even James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain.”
December 06, 2013
0
Matt Rees,
Im amazed at how fast this community is willing to give feedback.
Thanks man all of that is solid advice.
December 06, 2013
0
Orion,
Love the Faaaaaaaalllll Down! In the Chorus. It really pops the Chorus nicely and contrast the simplicity of the song as a whole. It really pulls me right into the song and makes me want to keep listening.
I didn’t think about it at first, but I agree with Matt on the Eagle Eye Cherry feel this could have once in the studio.
Glad to see you shared it. I’m looking forward to your other music and happy to see you are getting some value from Frettie!
December 06, 2013
0
Orion,
Love the groove. Love your phrasing. The only thing that bothered me (minor thing) is that you contradict yourself. In the chorus you say: “I will never fall down”. Yet in the second verse, you say: “I will fall down and get up again”. Maybe to keep the thought, but not seemingly contradict yourself, you could say something like: “I stumble then get up again.”
Other than that - great song.
Dick
December 06, 2013
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Matt Rees
Good dynamics, especially the guitar in verse 2, the bridge, and where you’ve placed the starts and stops. I would change the word “proud” to “strong” or something to keep continuity of theme, which is good and identifiable.
When thinking of instrumentation for a studio cut, this song would sound great with a sound like Eagle Eye Cherry’s song “Save Tonight,” or even James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain.”
December 06, 2013
No members have liked this comment.