This is a song about a blind date gone wrong from my third cousin twice-removed, sung to the tune of Luke Bryan's "Knockin' Boots".
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Verse One:
This hair needs an updo
This face needs some makeup
In desperate need of a pedicure before my first blind date
My nerves need some calmin’
Gonna take me some Gas-X
A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s simply gotta do
That’s the truth
Chorus:
Yeah, birds need bees and I need whiskey
This first date is getting’ pretty risky
Gas is risin’ up and it ain’t pretty
This could end real soon
I let one slip and the air starts stirrin’
Windows stuck, his eyes start burnin’
Pressure’s risin’, nature’s callin’, something’s rottin’
Got the poots… Got the poots… Them old poots… Oh oh oh…
Verse Two:
I smile through the madness
Pretend it didn’t happen
As he drives me back to my car
Luke Bryan on the radio
I try to make small talk
He stares at the sidewalk
Then I see a smile come across his lips
And I accidentally let one rip
Repeat Chorus
Bridge
Yeah, doors need open
Windows need rolled down
Hazmat suits put on
Somethin’s rotten
Repeat Chorus
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Hi Sundi, I think you are very funny. I am not familiar with the original because I avoid commercial country radio and much prefer college stations (those endless ads drive me crazy). I also think this works best live, in improv or amateur theatre. Check out Mickey Faust in Tallahassee, Fl: they do political satire and you will feel right at home there. The group was set up by Florida State faculty & students years ago and is still quite popular. I think you are finding your own creative path and wish you success.
July 18, 2020
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Jackson Lucas
Hi Sundi, I think you are very funny. I am not familiar with the original because I avoid commercial country radio and much prefer college stations (those endless ads drive me crazy). I also think this works best live, in improv or amateur theatre. Check out Mickey Faust in Tallahassee, Fl: they do political satire and you will feel right at home there. The group was set up by Florida State faculty & students years ago and is still quite popular. I think you are finding your own creative path and wish you success.
July 18, 2020
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