This is a song called "Truly Mine" . It is a reminder of how loved we are by God! Lyrics and music- Truly Mine- Words and Music by ©Lacy Harrison
FlyingHMusicWorldwide/BMI
Vocals and guitar-Dave Smith
Thanks for your feedback! I’ll try it and see if it does better that way. I looked for country gospel, but the only choices were gospel or country.
May 29, 2020
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Hey Lacy, this has great melody and production is excellent…really well balanced. Its very evident right from the beginning what is happening and the message is clear. Personally I like it as is because I am always open to songs that break the industry standard rules but still have heart!
This is subjective but I think your hook is “I love you more in a moment than anyone could in a lifetime” WOW, what great lines! That, to me is the best two lines of the song. What an amazing concept but your concept is “You are Truly mine” Again, this is just me, others could see it entirely different but I’d make that my hook. In fact, I reckon you could take those two lines as a hook for another song, build the chorus around that concept and then write the verses that support that idea.
If you were going to pitch this song as is though, the syllable count is right but phrases and rhythm could be closer…a comma often means take a breath so that alters the rhythm between the verses. I’m just passing on what pro-writers etc have told me…At the end of the day, it depends what you want to do with your music…its your music, so if you want to keep it as is then great but I reckon that if you were to pitch as is, they’d want the verses tighter together.
I hope this doesn’t come across negatively, I think you have a gifting and God will use you in songwriting. I’m not a pro so just my thoughts. God Bless you and thanks for sharing this song…I really did enjoy it.
July 16, 2020
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me on my songs! I appreciate it very much~Lacy
July 16, 2020
No members have liked this comment.
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V1. I multiplied the galaxies above
Divided the oceans beneath
Hung out the sun and stars so they’d shine
Made the mountains so steep
I said something’s missing
Gave you life, caused you to be
The work of my hands, one of a kind
To fellowship with me
CH. When you feel forgotten
You’re desperate and alone
Seems as if you’re separated
A million miles from home
I love you more in a moment
Than anyone could in a lifetime
So, never forget, never forget you are truly mine
V2. In every moment of life that goes by
I’m in the middle of it all
In brightest of days, darkest of nights
When you’re feeling small
I’m here beside you
To carry you whenever you may fall
My nail scarred hands is strong enough
To hold you when you call
0
I like this song. I think this song is closer to country than gospel. May be you should put it under country to get more people to listen to it. The lyrics have a christian content, so it may be is put under the right style.Great singer.
May 27, 2020
0
Thanks for your feedback! I’ll try it and see if it does better that way. I looked for country gospel, but the only choices were gospel or country.
May 29, 2020
0
Hey Lacy, this has great melody and production is excellent…really well balanced. Its very evident right from the beginning what is happening and the message is clear. Personally I like it as is because I am always open to songs that break the industry standard rules but still have heart!
This is subjective but I think your hook is “I love you more in a moment than anyone could in a lifetime” WOW, what great lines! That, to me is the best two lines of the song. What an amazing concept but your concept is “You are Truly mine” Again, this is just me, others could see it entirely different but I’d make that my hook. In fact, I reckon you could take those two lines as a hook for another song, build the chorus around that concept and then write the verses that support that idea.
If you were going to pitch this song as is though, the syllable count is right but phrases and rhythm could be closer…a comma often means take a breath so that alters the rhythm between the verses. I’m just passing on what pro-writers etc have told me…At the end of the day, it depends what you want to do with your music…its your music, so if you want to keep it as is then great but I reckon that if you were to pitch as is, they’d want the verses tighter together.
I hope this doesn’t come across negatively, I think you have a gifting and God will use you in songwriting. I’m not a pro so just my thoughts. God Bless you and thanks for sharing this song…I really did enjoy it.
July 16, 2020
0
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me on my songs! I appreciate it very much~Lacy
July 16, 2020
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Geir Østby
I like this song. I think this song is closer to country than gospel. May be you should put it under country to get more people to listen to it. The lyrics have a christian content, so it may be is put under the right style.Great singer.
May 27, 2020
No members have liked this comment.