Looking for feedback on any and all elements of the song. And don't be shy. Tell me how you really feel. I can take it. I'm trying to get better at writing commercial country songs. Thanks for the help!
Thank you for the kind words, Jason. I’m surprised you found this song. Lol. I posted this weeks ago, and apparently folks aren’t really offering feedback on this site much anymore. I posted a newer song about a week ago, and same thing…. I hear that drum fill over that line in the chorus you’re talking about, and I can see why you mentioned that. Thank you for that.
June 23, 2020
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I Used To Hate This Town
(Written by: Rick Allan Lane)
Verse
Eighteen headin' for LA
I couldn't wait to get away
From this nowhere, no good town
Drove down Main when I left
No tears and no regrets
I didn't know then what I know now
I was livin' my dreams out on the coast
It was everything that I'd always hoped
For somebody goin' places
But those bright lights and a big city
Couldn't hide what was really missing
I left for a different kind of famous
Chorus
I found my fame and fortune
But it wasn't out in California
I'm a small town celebrity
They treat me like I'm royalty
Still love to see those bright lights
Shinin' on our field on Friday nights
I swear, the stars always come out
I can't believe it now
I used to hate this town
Verse
That day I saw her name showin' up on my phone
And the moment I heard her voice from home
I knew exactly where I was meant to be
I dropped everything I had
Left it all and I hurried back
To the place I couldn't wait to leave
Chorus
Bridge
Oh, just can't believe it now
Used to hate this town
Oh, but, I love it now
Yeah, I love this town
Chorus
Copyright © Rick Allan Lane
0
Hi Rick, I noticed that you had said you read the lyrics first so I approached this song like that before listening. I got a good feeling of the story because of this. When it came to listening to the track I was impressed at how well the words and melody fitted, very very smooth.
The jump in the melody in the 2nd verse was so effective and led perfectly into the chorus which to me soars high from the rest.
The only thing that drew my attention away from the flow of listening to the song was the drums in the chorus, it seemed a little busy at the end of some lines, for example over the line of “I swear, the stars always come out.”
I’ve been left inspired by this song of how well its been written, thank you for sharing and I will be listening to more of your stuff. J
June 22, 2020
0
Thank you for the kind words, Jason. I’m surprised you found this song. Lol. I posted this weeks ago, and apparently folks aren’t really offering feedback on this site much anymore. I posted a newer song about a week ago, and same thing…. I hear that drum fill over that line in the chorus you’re talking about, and I can see why you mentioned that. Thank you for that.
June 23, 2020
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Jason Sweeney
Hi Rick, I noticed that you had said you read the lyrics first so I approached this song like that before listening. I got a good feeling of the story because of this. When it came to listening to the track I was impressed at how well the words and melody fitted, very very smooth.
The jump in the melody in the 2nd verse was so effective and led perfectly into the chorus which to me soars high from the rest.
The only thing that drew my attention away from the flow of listening to the song was the drums in the chorus, it seemed a little busy at the end of some lines, for example over the line of “I swear, the stars always come out.”
I’ve been left inspired by this song of how well its been written, thank you for sharing and I will be listening to more of your stuff. J
June 22, 2020
No members have liked this comment.