I posted a lyric only of this, then a acoustic/vocal, looking for a little feedback. Now, I'm posting a fuller band demo version to see if I can get a little feedback. I'm hoping for some feedback (good or bad) on it. Thanks in advance for the help.
**Uploaded an updated mix of this on 6/27/20 with shorter first verse**
Hello Xave!,
Thank you very much! That’s exactly the kind of feedback I was hoping for with this website. I agree on the verses being too dynamic. At the very least, the first part of the first verse. I thought the same thing. I need to start minimally, and then introduce new elements as the song progresses… Mixing and producing is definitely not something that comes easy and natural to me. I’ve put a lot of time into it over the years trying to learn how to make my mixes sound better. You should hear some of my old stuff. Lol. But, hey, as you know, writing and recording songs is very challenging, but fun and rewarding… I also struggled with the bridge/no bridge question. That little guitar solo is right where a bridge would be. I put that in there because I didn’t have a bridge or no what extra to say in a bridge. Lol. I wasn’t sure what else I could say to add to the song lyric, you know? Not much more to say about being tired from staying up all night every night makin’ whoopee. 
It would need to be some sort of twist or something new. Anyway, I’ll think on that and see if I can work a bridge in there in place of that instrumental part… Thank you for the great feedback and help. I can’t disagree with anything you’ve pointed out. Thanks again!
March 04, 2020
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I tweaked the mix a little to create a little more of a dynamics/levels difference between the intro/verse/chorus. Thanks again for the advice.
March 04, 2020
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Love the production Rick. Did you use a studio? I record at home so I struggle to get a decent sound. Just started mixing my latest song so hopefully will be uploading next week or so. But again, lovin the driving groove of this, would make a good pitch as it gets straight into the action with beat and the nice warm heavy bass. Have you tried it with the play for a publisher at all? Great job Rick. Hey…keep safe bro. Its a scary time.
March 28, 2020
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Thanks for the compliment, Xave. I really appreciate it. I also record at home and I also struggle to get a good sound. Yes, I’m a home recording buff. It’s a lot of fun, but frustrating and rewarding all at the same time. To be honest, that’s me singing. I recorded that at my dining room table with a Rode NT1A and a Scarlett 2i2. Every other track for this song was all created in Band In A Box. I create tracks in Band In A Box and then pull them into my daw. From there, it’s just mixing and using plugins and trying my best to try to make it all sound as good as possible. Some songs I turn out sounding really good, and other songs not so much…. I do play the guitar, so I do track some of my guitar and acoustic parts on songs, but most backing tracks are from Band In A Box. I will say that it does take some effort and hard work to make it all sound decent together… I’m not the most naturally talented singer or player, so it takes me a while to record a vocal or guitar part. Using Band In A Box for things like the drums, bass, organs, etcs saves me a lot of time…To answer your other question, I haven’t pitched this song. I don’t live in Nashville, so I don’t really know publishers to pitch to. I do belong to Songu.com, which has pitch opportunities, and I’ve pitched a LOT of songs there over the years, but not cuts. I joined SongwritingPro here for the chance like this to get some feedback and critiques from other people like you, which is great, but I joined mostly to try to learn from the videos and information that Brent posts about songwriting, in hopes that it will help me to progress, get better at writing, and maybe write a song worthy of getting a real cut. That’s the dream at least. I think I probably speak for 99.9% of the people on here. Lol… Thanks again, and you stay safe too. This is a really scary and hopefully a once in a lifetime situation we’re all living through right now. Good luck with your new recording!
March 29, 2020
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New and shorter version posted 6/27/20 with shorter first verse to get to the chorus quicker.
June 27, 2020
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Sleepless Nights
(Written by: Rick Allan Lane)
Verse
I've been drivin' right on by that Starbucks down your street
Every morning when I leave here and we ain't sleepin' a wink
I don't wanna miss a thing when I'm with you
But a kiss is all I need to get me through
Til I see you again tonight
Same place, same time
Chorus
I love these sleepless nights
I couldn't sleep even if I tried
How could I ever close my eyes
When your skin's still touchin' mine
One thing always leads to another
When we're wrapped up in each other
We must be doing something right
Cuz we can't sleep these sleepless nights
Verse
Who knows how long we can keep on carryin' on
With this nocturnal, non-stop, no-sleepin', all night long
But we keep doin' it again and again
Your love is like adrenaline
No shut-eye cuz I
Can't take my eyes off you all night
Chorus
Instrumental
One thing always leads to another
When we're wrapped up in each other
Must be doing something right
Cuz your skin's still touchin' mine
Let's keep doing something right
Cuz we can't sleep these sleepless nights
Copyright © Rick Allan Lane
0
Hi Rick. Nice modern rock style tempo to this. Nice to hear something that gets the hell away from “ballad ville” Just my two cents if thats ok , but I would hit the chorus quicker. Also, I wouldn’t have all the instruments playing all the way through. A clever production trick is to have that nice full impact on the intro…but then the instruments drop off when the vocal comes in. Then they all come back in for the chorus. What seems to be happening here is a sort of flat line effect which is preventing the melody of the chorus to jump out at you. I think a very definite bridge could help too. But nice job bro.
March 04, 2020
0
Hello Xave!,
Thank you very much! That’s exactly the kind of feedback I was hoping for with this website. I agree on the verses being too dynamic. At the very least, the first part of the first verse. I thought the same thing. I need to start minimally, and then introduce new elements as the song progresses… Mixing and producing is definitely not something that comes easy and natural to me. I’ve put a lot of time into it over the years trying to learn how to make my mixes sound better. You should hear some of my old stuff. Lol. But, hey, as you know, writing and recording songs is very challenging, but fun and rewarding… I also struggled with the bridge/no bridge question. That little guitar solo is right where a bridge would be. I put that in there because I didn’t have a bridge or no what extra to say in a bridge. Lol. I wasn’t sure what else I could say to add to the song lyric, you know? Not much more to say about being tired from staying up all night every night makin’ whoopee. It would need to be some sort of twist or something new. Anyway, I’ll think on that and see if I can work a bridge in there in place of that instrumental part… Thank you for the great feedback and help. I can’t disagree with anything you’ve pointed out. Thanks again!
March 04, 2020
0
I tweaked the mix a little to create a little more of a dynamics/levels difference between the intro/verse/chorus. Thanks again for the advice.
March 04, 2020
0
Love the production Rick. Did you use a studio? I record at home so I struggle to get a decent sound. Just started mixing my latest song so hopefully will be uploading next week or so. But again, lovin the driving groove of this, would make a good pitch as it gets straight into the action with beat and the nice warm heavy bass. Have you tried it with the play for a publisher at all? Great job Rick. Hey…keep safe bro. Its a scary time.
March 28, 2020
0
Thanks for the compliment, Xave. I really appreciate it. I also record at home and I also struggle to get a good sound. Yes, I’m a home recording buff. It’s a lot of fun, but frustrating and rewarding all at the same time. To be honest, that’s me singing. I recorded that at my dining room table with a Rode NT1A and a Scarlett 2i2. Every other track for this song was all created in Band In A Box. I create tracks in Band In A Box and then pull them into my daw. From there, it’s just mixing and using plugins and trying my best to try to make it all sound as good as possible. Some songs I turn out sounding really good, and other songs not so much…. I do play the guitar, so I do track some of my guitar and acoustic parts on songs, but most backing tracks are from Band In A Box. I will say that it does take some effort and hard work to make it all sound decent together… I’m not the most naturally talented singer or player, so it takes me a while to record a vocal or guitar part. Using Band In A Box for things like the drums, bass, organs, etcs saves me a lot of time…To answer your other question, I haven’t pitched this song. I don’t live in Nashville, so I don’t really know publishers to pitch to. I do belong to Songu.com, which has pitch opportunities, and I’ve pitched a LOT of songs there over the years, but not cuts. I joined SongwritingPro here for the chance like this to get some feedback and critiques from other people like you, which is great, but I joined mostly to try to learn from the videos and information that Brent posts about songwriting, in hopes that it will help me to progress, get better at writing, and maybe write a song worthy of getting a real cut. That’s the dream at least. I think I probably speak for 99.9% of the people on here. Lol… Thanks again, and you stay safe too. This is a really scary and hopefully a once in a lifetime situation we’re all living through right now. Good luck with your new recording!
March 29, 2020
0
New and shorter version posted 6/27/20 with shorter first verse to get to the chorus quicker.
June 27, 2020
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Xave Ryan
Hi Rick. Nice modern rock style tempo to this. Nice to hear something that gets the hell away from “ballad ville” Just my two cents if thats ok , but I would hit the chorus quicker. Also, I wouldn’t have all the instruments playing all the way through. A clever production trick is to have that nice full impact on the intro…but then the instruments drop off when the vocal comes in. Then they all come back in for the chorus. What seems to be happening here is a sort of flat line effect which is preventing the melody of the chorus to jump out at you. I think a very definite bridge could help too. But nice job bro.
March 04, 2020
No members have liked this comment.