Ronnie Glenn

Thanks for sharing your song. I like it!

I bet it is fun singing your own tunes to a crowd. Your track sounds awesome and refreshing to hear. That 90s country twang sound always catches my ear and gets my boots a stomping.

Just suggestions:
There’s three dreams happening in your chorus. You could drop out the ending on on the third line. Insert the word “on” between Dream and Baby. The matches up better for the rhyme.

Then on your last line of the chorus. Try something like this to increase the hook value.
“this change you’re “talking” is taking you from me.

Happy Songwriting!

Donald Nuzum

Hi Ron, Thanx for the listen. Trying to follow what your saying. Do you mean on the “Dream Baby Jean” second time around say Dream On Baby Jean?

Ronnie Glenn

Hey Donald,

Something like this:

Dream Baby Jean
Dream about the time when you sat on my knee
Dream on Baby
This change you’re talking is taking you from me

You could even add the title Dream Baby Jean on the bottom of the chorus to increase the hook value. Or put the “Dream on Baby” at the end of the chorus. Either way it will box the title and end on that.

Here’s another suggestion for the word “belonged” on the second chorus. Replace it with “were here” with me.  You could do that on the first chorus to keep simple and memorizable.

Donald Nuzum

Thank you Ronnie for at least listening close enough to give an opinion. I’m glad you liked it. No one but you commented. I get 62 views and one comment. Your one like and that’s it. This internet is lacking in something. lol
All I’m writing about is an emotion that a parent feels when their offspring, in this case a little girl, leaves the nest. It is universal to all who have children. It reminds people of the importance of family, Something this generation needs to hear more of. It’s not rocket science.lol The song is as powerful as it will ever be. I suppose you could change a word or two if the meter flows correctly but I wouldn’t re-record it for that purpose.

Dave Grandel

You know what’s wrong with the internet?  Too much choice and no financial outlay like back in our youth…

I like this song… My brain hears music in lyrics often before I hear the song.  Your lyrics “Dream baby dream” did almost exactly what I was hearing.  To me that’s a good thing.

The only suggestion I would make is to change the line “this change you’re takin’” to “this change you’re makin’” as most times people “make” changes.  Conversely they “take” chances. 

All in all, a fine song for a fine daughter from a loving father!  Well done, sir!