“Tired of Nashville” is a song about trying to make it big in the music business and losing love over it.
I would like to request the following feedbacks. Lyrics, melody, song structure
My only Critique is she’s leavin’ on a Greyhound headin’ back to Tulsa Probably been used many times..need to update the bus and the city here’s one https://www.friscocoachline.com/ back to Dallas of course Dallas is a little overused as well maybe Frisco
October 03, 2019
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I think your melodies are okay, and the chord progression is good. As far as worktapes go, it demonstrates the song.
If I were your co-writer, I’d suggest refocusing the song by changing every “she”, to “You”. Personalize it, by singing it to her, not me. I’d also suggest the idea that her home town is not in the south. Having her home city be Detroit, St. Paul or another northern city would add interest by suggesting she’s been outside her comfort zone. Possibly “...from the snow of Minnesota to the Grand Ol’ Opry.”?
He’s choosing his dream over her. That’s a determined choice. Can the song be pushed up-tempo? Give it a try, see if it works.
Just my 2 cents, good luck!
October 05, 2019
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This reminded me of Jessie ( I think by Joshua Kadison)
Like it
Piano is good and tender that fits the lyric (well written btw)
I’m not sure if you recorded this yourself or not but you’d really benefit from a better drum plug-in it would really enhance a really good song… Worth the investment? Well the human body needs the lyrics to get into the heart of the audience and the melody to get it into their head… But the drums and the rythym is a human first response… It’s why we dance…
A good sign is at the end of the song I wanted more so well done!
October 01, 2019
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My only Critique is she’s leavin’ on a Greyhound headin’ back to Tulsa Probably been used many times..need to update the bus and the city here’s one https://www.friscocoachline.com/ back to Dallas of course Dallas is a little overused as well maybe Frisco
October 03, 2019
0
I think your melodies are okay, and the chord progression is good. As far as worktapes go, it demonstrates the song.
If I were your co-writer, I’d suggest refocusing the song by changing every “she”, to “You”. Personalize it, by singing it to her, not me. I’d also suggest the idea that her home town is not in the south. Having her home city be Detroit, St. Paul or another northern city would add interest by suggesting she’s been outside her comfort zone. Possibly “...from the snow of Minnesota to the Grand Ol’ Opry.”?
He’s choosing his dream over her. That’s a determined choice. Can the song be pushed up-tempo? Give it a try, see if it works.
Just my 2 cents, good luck!
October 05, 2019
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Paul deMarco
This reminded me of Jessie ( I think by Joshua Kadison)
Like it
Piano is good and tender that fits the lyric (well written btw)
I’m not sure if you recorded this yourself or not but you’d really benefit from a better drum plug-in it would really enhance a really good song… Worth the investment? Well the human body needs the lyrics to get into the heart of the audience and the melody to get it into their head… But the drums and the rythym is a human first response… It’s why we dance…
A good sign is at the end of the song I wanted more so well done!
October 01, 2019
No members have liked this comment.