Miscarriage and stillbirth, even SIDS are such a tender and sensitive topic. After experiencing this type of loss myself, I went to the piano and wrote.
Any and all!
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A few specific comments: 1) Your voice can get a little thin (G - C above middle C), 2) Pay as much attention to beginning and ending consonants as you do to vowels, 3) Your vocal intonation is good, quite solid, 4) Piano part gets repetitious (a little “poundy” and “bangy”), 5) “Good for you” for tackling this song subject matter — song is NICE AND PERSONAL!
Best wishes and keep writing more songs!!!
September 03, 2019
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Also, next song I’d suggest including the lyrics (that always helps in hooking the listener).
September 03, 2019
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This song is so Beautifull and Poignent , and really speaks to a whole group of people including many who have had an abortion which you didn’t but suffered through a very similar situation, I can hear your pain and beauty at the same time
April 20, 2020
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VERSE 1
The plans were made, excitement came, it really was a dream come true
It was you.
The guessing game and no shame to tell the whole wide world about you, you.
PRE-CHORUS
But the fates changed their minds, we weren't meant to be at this time
So save me a place in line next to you, and I'll hear you say, when I'm feeling blue
CHORUS:
When you feel that soft warm breeze, on a chilly day,
When you see that stranger smile, in a thoughtful way
When the rainbow peaks after the storm, you'll know it's me, oh it's me, I'm forever yours.
VERSE 2
On the floor with shattered hopes, nothing but my arms to hold, so cold
Now I don't know what to say, how to cry and how to pray, why me? Why you?
PRE-CHORUS
Why'd the fates change their mind? Why weren't we meant to be at this time? So just save me a place in line next to you, and I'll hear you say, when I'm feeling blue
CHORUS
BRIDGE
In your empty room, I know you're not gone
So with my tear filled eyes, I say goodbye and I try, try to move on
END CHORUS
But when I feel that soft warm breeze, on a chilly day
When I see that stranger smile, in a thoughtful way
When the rainbow peaks after the storm, I'll know it's you
Oh It's you
When I see that star in the sky, twinkly bright,
and the next time I ask why, I'll feel your light
When I feel that warmth in my heart, I'll know its you
I'm forever yours
0
A beautiful tribute to your child. Great vocals and keys. Very sweet. Brian.
August 26, 2019
0
A few specific comments: 1) Your voice can get a little thin (G - C above middle C), 2) Pay as much attention to beginning and ending consonants as you do to vowels, 3) Your vocal intonation is good, quite solid, 4) Piano part gets repetitious (a little “poundy” and “bangy”), 5) “Good for you” for tackling this song subject matter — song is NICE AND PERSONAL!
Best wishes and keep writing more songs!!!
September 03, 2019
0
Also, next song I’d suggest including the lyrics (that always helps in hooking the listener).
September 03, 2019
0
This song is so Beautifull and Poignent , and really speaks to a whole group of people including many who have had an abortion which you didn’t but suffered through a very similar situation, I can hear your pain and beauty at the same time
April 20, 2020
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Brian Walstad
A beautiful tribute to your child. Great vocals and keys. Very sweet. Brian.
August 26, 2019
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