Where did it all go wrong. Looking for answers to what caused the breakup.
Would love to receive feedback. Genre, sounds like etc.
Thanks,
H
Hi Richard,
Appreciate the feedback. Interesting comments and definitely food for thought.
August 26, 2019
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WHAT DID I DO
Written by: Howard Delnick
Chords: D-G-A
Verse:
IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EV'RY TIME I CRIED FOR YOU
I'D BE DRINKIN' OUT IN VEGAS, INSTEAD OF THIS OLD HOTEL ROOM
AND I'D BE RIDIN' HIGH WITH ALL MY FRIENDS
HAVIN' COCKTAILS AT TWO
BUT THE MORE I TIP THIS BOTTLE UP, THE MORE I THINK OF YOU
Chorus:
AND MORE AND MORE I'M WONDERIN', OH, WHAT DID I DO
TO MAKE YOU LEAVE ME, TELL ME WHAT DID I DO
OH MORE AND MORE I'M WONDERIN', OH WHAT DID I DO
TO MAKE YOU LEAVE ME, TELL ME WHAT DID I DO
Verse:
I CAN'T COUNT THE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
I'VE SPENT WAND'RIN' UNDER THE CITY LIGHTS
BUT I KNOW THAT IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO GET OVER YOU
ALTHOUGH I'VE TRIED A THOUSAND TIMES
I JUST CAN'T EASE MY MIND
IT'S BURDENED WITH THE MEMORIES OF YOU
Chorus:
Verse:
I'D LIKE TO THINK WE COULD BE FRIENDS
BUT THAT'S NOT THE WAY THE STORY ENDS
IT HURTS TO FIND MY LOVE WAS JUST A WASTE OF TIME
WELL I REALIZE YOU'VE GOT YOUR LIFE
AND YOU KNOW THAT I'VE GOT MINE
AND WHO'S TO SAY WE'LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN
Chorus: (twice)
WORDS AND MUSIC WRITTEN AND COMPOSED BY HOWARD DELNICK
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
© HOWARD DELNICK, 1986-2019.
SOCAN
0
hi howard:
I think the overall theme of the story is fine, but there are a few things. In the first verse the rhymes are all oo And
I think you use the word you a little too much. rhymes. Finally in my opinion, I’m not sure you need a full third verse, maybe a bridge. This is not to say this isn’t a good idea, just needs refining, watch your rhymes schemes and change the end words for variety. Keep writing!
August 26, 2019
0
Hi Richard,
Appreciate the feedback. Interesting comments and definitely food for thought.
August 26, 2019
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Richard Kirk
hi howard:
I think the overall theme of the story is fine, but there are a few things. In the first verse the rhymes are all oo And
I think you use the word you a little too much. rhymes. Finally in my opinion, I’m not sure you need a full third verse, maybe a bridge. This is not to say this isn’t a good idea, just needs refining, watch your rhymes schemes and change the end words for variety. Keep writing!
August 26, 2019
No members have liked this comment.