Great catchy song about ups and downs in relationships
All feedback appreciated
Hi Jerry
Im certainly no expert and Im not jumping in to do some ass licking and agree with Uncle Brent. But the chorus does indeed build like a pre chorus. but all in all…Im really diggin the tempo and vibe of this. Nice and up tempo. No strummy strummy Barny the dinosaur boring crap on this one. Cool rockin number bro. lovin it.
June 02, 2019
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Hi Jerry, yep the structure of this song is somewhat unusual. What you call a chorus doesn’t sound like a chorus and your verses sound more like the real chorus cause of the repeated ‘sea saw’ line. The question is: does it matter? I don’t think so. I like the song, it rocks, it’s powerful, it’s catchy.
June 22, 2019
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Verse
Up and down we go again it never ends
living the see saw life, in this see saw life,
Life with you it always moves around the bend
living the see saw life, in this see saw life.
Chorus
Spinning round and round we go
a carousel that just won't slow,
Caught in a revolving door,
And I'm always wanting more
Verse
Girl you swing me back and forth everyday
living the see saw life, in this see saw life
swinging high I jump and want to flyaway
Living the see saw life, in this see saw life.
Chorus
Spinning round and round we go
a carousel that just won't slow,
Caught in a revolving door,
And I'm always wanting more
Bridge
Balance in the chaos of our lives
Let's me know that there's no need for us to hide
Solo
Verse
Girl I'm leaping towards you in every way
living the see saw life, in this see saw life,
We can sing and dance the night away
living the see saw life, in this see saw life.
Chorus
Spinning round and round we go
a carousel that just won't slow,
Caught in a revolving door,
And I'm always wanting more
0
Hey, Jerry! Thanks for sharing your song with us! Dig the tempo and vibe. Getting the hook in early- smart! For me, I felt like what you have listed as the chorus is more of a pre-chorus, and I was left waiting for the true chorus to kick in. Something feels missing, since your “chorus” has less energy than the verses and doesn’t include the title. And it goes to a carousel metaphor and drops the see saw metaphor. I’d stick with the see saw in the chorus and talk about the ups and downs, but fun to be found, etc.
But overall, I like the title, idea, energy, positive love aspect of it. So a lot of good stuff here. Again, thanks for sharing!
May 30, 2019
0
Hi Jerry
Im certainly no expert and Im not jumping in to do some ass licking and agree with Uncle Brent. But the chorus does indeed build like a pre chorus. but all in all…Im really diggin the tempo and vibe of this. Nice and up tempo. No strummy strummy Barny the dinosaur boring crap on this one. Cool rockin number bro. lovin it.
June 02, 2019
0
Hi Jerry, yep the structure of this song is somewhat unusual. What you call a chorus doesn’t sound like a chorus and your verses sound more like the real chorus cause of the repeated ‘sea saw’ line. The question is: does it matter? I don’t think so. I like the song, it rocks, it’s powerful, it’s catchy.
June 22, 2019
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Jerry! Thanks for sharing your song with us! Dig the tempo and vibe. Getting the hook in early- smart! For me, I felt like what you have listed as the chorus is more of a pre-chorus, and I was left waiting for the true chorus to kick in. Something feels missing, since your “chorus” has less energy than the verses and doesn’t include the title. And it goes to a carousel metaphor and drops the see saw metaphor. I’d stick with the see saw in the chorus and talk about the ups and downs, but fun to be found, etc.
But overall, I like the title, idea, energy, positive love aspect of it. So a lot of good stuff here. Again, thanks for sharing!
May 30, 2019
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