This is one of those nostalgic songs about some of the best days of my life.
I would like feedback.
Frank, I appreciate your opinion and input. I’m not really sure how to express the images and emotions without the song being too long. Would welcome your suggestions. I can work on the lyrics but not being a vocalist or instrumentalist it’s more involved for me to do a rewrite.
Thank you so much!!
April 29, 2019
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Got you! thought it was you singing. Don’t get me wrong - it’s a nice song. But just keep in mind for your next song to dig deeper into your emotions. As songwriter we grow with every song - the best is yet to come - LOL. I have written a similar song, it was one of my earlier songs you’ll find it here - it’s called ‘Mount Everest’ would like to hear what you think about it.
May 01, 2019
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I enjoyed this song, and think there’s much to like about it—for instance, lots of details in the lyrics. One problem musically—chorus is like the first part of the verse (harmonically, identical).
Best wishes in all your musical endeavors.
June 12, 2019
No members have liked this comment.
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I'm staring in the distance looking like I'm in a daze
And I see grandmother and granddaddy's old home place
I see the front porch and those steps that led up there
cousins are in the yard and there's family everywhere
and out by the garden past the crepe myrtle tree
I'm always running my sister's with me
Chorus:
It's those scenes in my mind from other days
that stayed and now they play and they play
And I remember them some are vivid some are dim
Oh but today I got a glimpse
Sometimes I see daddy walking down the steps of that jet
that brought him home from war a proud American Vet
And I'll get a flash of mama when I was a kid
before a wrinkle ever touched her smooth skin
And I see my children playing in the rain
That day I threw all their little muddy clothes away
and sometimes they are babies and I am holding them
oh and today I got a glimpse
Chorus:
It's those scenes in my mind from other days
that stayed and now they play and they play
And I remember them some are vivid some are dim
Oh but today I got a glimpse
Bridge:
Sometimes all it takes is a little sun on my face to stir up a memory
Or a summer afternoon when the sky is pink and blue
I could think of most any good thing
Like the first time I rode my bike and didn't fall down
Or there I am with a young boy saying wedding vows
And just like it was yesterday in our old family car
Or the moment when I let Jesus in my heart
Chorus:
It's those scenes in my mind from other days
that stayed and now they play and they play
and I remember them some are vivid some are dim
Oh, but today I got a glimpse!
Oh, today I got a glimpse.
I'm staring in the distance looking like I'm in a daze.
0
Hey Lora, in all aspects very well crafted song with nice images. You describe your memories, but from a distance, the song could be stronger if you would show us your feelings, when you see these pictures from the past.
April 29, 2019
0
Frank, I appreciate your opinion and input. I’m not really sure how to express the images and emotions without the song being too long. Would welcome your suggestions. I can work on the lyrics but not being a vocalist or instrumentalist it’s more involved for me to do a rewrite.
Thank you so much!!
April 29, 2019
0
Got you! thought it was you singing. Don’t get me wrong - it’s a nice song. But just keep in mind for your next song to dig deeper into your emotions. As songwriter we grow with every song - the best is yet to come - LOL. I have written a similar song, it was one of my earlier songs you’ll find it here - it’s called ‘Mount Everest’ would like to hear what you think about it.
May 01, 2019
0
I enjoyed this song, and think there’s much to like about it—for instance, lots of details in the lyrics. One problem musically—chorus is like the first part of the verse (harmonically, identical).
Best wishes in all your musical endeavors.
June 12, 2019
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Frank Renfordt
Hey Lora, in all aspects very well crafted song with nice images. You describe your memories, but from a distance, the song could be stronger if you would show us your feelings, when you see these pictures from the past.
April 29, 2019
No members have liked this comment.