It's about a kid who uses his imagination to cope with a somewhat dysfunctional home-life.
Any and all feedback, suggestions etc. would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Hi Frank, and thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. Your comments are very insightful, and seem to run with the consensus, both on this song and the other one I have posted (On Our Way). I think every person who has reviewed this song suggests changing up the chorus somehow to make it stand out a little more, and give some variation to the repetitive melody. I will definitely get to work on that.
And everyone has mentioned that the other song may be a little too long. So I will try to remedy that as well. You may also be right about the lack of repetition in the choruses. All food for very serious thought, indeed.
Thanks again for taking the time to listen and comment. Your suggestions are very useful as I try to polish these songs for an album I’m putting together.
Cheers . . .
February 21, 2019
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Bein’ a Kid
A few days ago, I learned how to fly,
Just lay on my back, watch the clouds rollin’ by,
A regular hero, and king of the sky,
But dreamin’ comes easy to a kid in July.
So yesterday mornin’ I flew past the moon,
Been plannin’ a trip since the middle of June,
And I saved so many worlds, I can hardly recall,
But made it back home, before they missed me at all.
Chorus
I live in a world I choose to create,
Like mommy and daddy when they need to escape,
Her with the bottle, and him stayin’ out late.
Just tryin’ to forget a life they’ve both grown to hate.
Today is the same as most days I know,
Mom’s sick again and she’s talking so slow,
So I tell her I love her, cause she wanted to know,
I tell her I love her, and she tells me to go.
But there’s rustlers to round up out here on the range,
Dragons to slay, and rules to change,
There’s cities to conquer and places to see,
Where being a kid ain’t a bad thing to be.
So I live in a world I choose to create,
Like mommy and daddy when they need to escape,
Her with the bottle, and him stayin’ out late.
Just tryin’ to forget a life they’ve both grown to hate.
I have this same dream almost every night,
At least if I’m sleeping before they can fight.
I dream of a world where daddies come home,
So mommies don’t cry in the dark all alone,
And the kids are as happy as the kids on TV,
And being a kid ain’t a bad thing to be.
But I live in this world I choose to create,
Like mommy and daddy when they need to escape,
Her with the bottle, and him stayin’ out late.
Just tryin’ to forget a life they’ve both grown to hate.
But there’s rustlers to round up out here on the range,
And dragons to slay, and rules that change,
There’s cities to conquer and places to see,
Where bein’ a kid ain’t a bad thing to be,
Where bein’ a kid ain’t a bad thing to be,
Where bein’ a kid ain’t a bad thing to be.
~~~
Bob McPherson©2018
0
Hey Bob, I like the idea and the sad feel of the song, however as there is no difference between verse and chorus and as the song is quite long, you lost me at certain point. I would try to tighten it up somehow and maybe vary the melody in the chorus to keep the listener interested.
February 21, 2019
0
Hi Frank, and thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. Your comments are very insightful, and seem to run with the consensus, both on this song and the other one I have posted (On Our Way). I think every person who has reviewed this song suggests changing up the chorus somehow to make it stand out a little more, and give some variation to the repetitive melody. I will definitely get to work on that.
And everyone has mentioned that the other song may be a little too long. So I will try to remedy that as well. You may also be right about the lack of repetition in the choruses. All food for very serious thought, indeed.
Thanks again for taking the time to listen and comment. Your suggestions are very useful as I try to polish these songs for an album I’m putting together.
Cheers . . .
February 21, 2019
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Frank Renfordt
Hey Bob, I like the idea and the sad feel of the song, however as there is no difference between verse and chorus and as the song is quite long, you lost me at certain point. I would try to tighten it up somehow and maybe vary the melody in the chorus to keep the listener interested.
February 21, 2019
No members have liked this comment.