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A young couple's Love overcoming the challenges against it.
Is the story clear enough to the listener?
Is it relatable?
Is the story clear enough to the listener?
Is it relatable?
Hi, Evan. Good work. I agree a lot with what Frank said. There is a mental effort required as a listener to bring it all together when “Why We Work” gets delivered. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’m married with 3 kids and understand the work part. Perhaps it’s because the lyrics imply the reason for work, but less of the actual reward. I think I hear the profession of being in love, but not the conflict/tension on how that becomes work and is rewarded. Please don’t take this as negative, I like the song. I just think the title implies challenges that don’t materialize in song.
March 27, 2018
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I love the sound of the song and your singing!
I took the “Why we work” to mean “that’s what makes us successful together” but I did feel the chorus could call that out more… not song examples, but I imagine couples saying things like “I am terrible with money, but they’re an accountant, but they are uptight and I remind them to relax, and that’s why we make such a great team”... so I guess my thought would be that the chorus would be more potent if there was more mention of complimentary qualities about each of them to say that’s why they work so well as a pair! I don’t have any specific ideas for that though lol!
March 27, 2018
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another nice one. Well put together. The only thing I think I’d try to change in the lyrics is “the course we’re in”. Catches when I hear it because, of course, it’s usually “course we’re on”. I like the song, though. Good job
April 22, 2018
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we had no money, but girl that sure was the best year! Love that line! good job man
July 21, 2018
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WHY WE WORK
We were school yard love birds
trying to make it in this town
that has enough broken hearts and vows to go around
they all said graduation would be our end line
but I guess they don’t know you and I
Chorus:
Im Taking you out no plan just a journey
ahead were moving slow not a hurry
what do you say, lets stay the course were in
like the dark needs the light, like a bird needs the wind
with you I can feel my heartbeat again
and you can’t deny you look good in my shirt
Thats Why We Work
Why We Work
We had a lot of dreams and each other to help us get there
we had no money, but girl that sure was the best year
just skipping through like rocks in a streamline
all I knew was that I was yours and you were mine
Chorus:
Im Taking you out no plan just a journey
ahead were moving slow not a hurry
what do you say, lets stay the course were in
like the dark needs the light, like a bird needs the wind
with you I can feel my heartbeat again
and you can’t deny you look good in my shirt
Thats Why We Work
Why We Work
Bridge:
I don’t read the roads signs
cause I can’t keep my eyes off you
we will always lead a great life
with hearts like ours we’ll make it through
girl I promise you
0
Hi Evan, I like the feel of the song and for me it is easy to relate too. Good work! Your chorus is nice, however not every line of the chorus gears clearly towards the hook, it feels the hook-line comes a little bit out of nowhere. The chorus could be stronger, if every line of the chorus would list things ‘why we work’ more clearly. That line ‘she looks good in your shirt’ is a good pre hook line, but it seems to me it stands a little bit alone - more lines like this would be great. But overall it’s a nice song! Take care!
March 27, 2018
0
Hi, Evan. Good work. I agree a lot with what Frank said. There is a mental effort required as a listener to bring it all together when “Why We Work” gets delivered. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’m married with 3 kids and understand the work part. Perhaps it’s because the lyrics imply the reason for work, but less of the actual reward. I think I hear the profession of being in love, but not the conflict/tension on how that becomes work and is rewarded. Please don’t take this as negative, I like the song. I just think the title implies challenges that don’t materialize in song.
March 27, 2018
0
I love the sound of the song and your singing!
I took the “Why we work” to mean “that’s what makes us successful together” but I did feel the chorus could call that out more… not song examples, but I imagine couples saying things like “I am terrible with money, but they’re an accountant, but they are uptight and I remind them to relax, and that’s why we make such a great team”... so I guess my thought would be that the chorus would be more potent if there was more mention of complimentary qualities about each of them to say that’s why they work so well as a pair! I don’t have any specific ideas for that though lol!
March 27, 2018
0
another nice one. Well put together. The only thing I think I’d try to change in the lyrics is “the course we’re in”. Catches when I hear it because, of course, it’s usually “course we’re on”. I like the song, though. Good job
April 22, 2018
0
we had no money, but girl that sure was the best year! Love that line! good job man
July 21, 2018
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Frank Renfordt
Hi Evan, I like the feel of the song and for me it is easy to relate too. Good work! Your chorus is nice, however not every line of the chorus gears clearly towards the hook, it feels the hook-line comes a little bit out of nowhere. The chorus could be stronger, if every line of the chorus would list things ‘why we work’ more clearly. That line ‘she looks good in your shirt’ is a good pre hook line, but it seems to me it stands a little bit alone - more lines like this would be great. But overall it’s a nice song! Take care!
March 27, 2018
No members have liked this comment.