Life will push you too hard and too fast. This is a song about taking some time to enjoy the things that matter.
I want honest, no holds barred critiques from a commercial perspective.
Thanks Andrea, I appreciate your listening. I’ll have to mess with the sound of that line change and the tempo. Thanks again!
January 31, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
James, there’s a lot in here that I really like. A lyric kind of threw me… “I wanna burn this candle at both ends” makes me think of living hard and fast - the opposite of your message. I know you tie it into the “bottle of wine” line but it just didn’t connect for me. My other suggestion is that I think the phrasing on your pre-chorus is too long. “My American dream…” I’d like to hear this in half the time so you get to the chorus sooner. All in all, good stuff!!
February 01, 2018
That’s great feedback Rick. I see what you are saying about the pre-chorus and I have never thought about it that way before. Kind of kills the vibe of the song a little. Gotta confess the dual meaning for the candle with the wine was one of the lines I really liked. I hope I can get some more feedback on that to see if I am in the minority on that. An honest critique is exactly why I am here. I appreciate it more than you know!
February 01, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
i like the song and the concept but i do agree burning the candle at both ends doesn’t seem to fit the idea of the song maybe burn the candle on the right end with a bottle of wine and good friends
i think of living fast burning the candle at both ends.
they way you have it flows well and i definitely made a connection with it
February 03, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
I think I am seeing your point guys. It is the phrase itself that draws a certain emotion that can’t be disconnected emotionally from what it really means. When I wrote it I was trying to capture the idea that I am going hard after quality time with her, loving her early and loving her late. Burning the candle at both ends, but not at work. I hear what you are saying that the phrase is too set in its meaning, emotionally, for me to try to turn it and make it work in this context. Hmmm, I wonder if I can tweak it to make that more clear, and turn that phrase so the line works, or if the line just needs to change?? Really great feedback guys, thank you.
February 03, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
Take My Time
Heart racing the clock is chasing another deadline
In the fast lane but all that I'm passing are chances to live my life
Is this really worth the price that we have had to pay
I used to be sure but now I'm sure it's time for change
Cause my American dream is not what it used to be
Dreaming of taking my time learning to breathe
Making it big in the little things
Instead of living for the 9 to 5 and keeping freeway time
I wanna burn this candle at both ends
Of a bottle of wine with some good friends
Until you and me baby... are living the Good life
I'm gonna take my time
Gonna take my time
Putting down this phone I know I won’t need it tonight
Your black dress and your sweet lip are getting my overtime
I ain’t punching out ‘til you got everything you need
Gonna take my time and get back to you and me
Cause my American dream is not what it used to be
Dreaming of taking my time learning to breathe
Chasing the things that we really need
Instead of living for the 9 to 5 and keeping freeway time
I wanna burn this candle at both ends
Of a bottle of wine with some good friends
Until you and me baby... are living the Good life
I'm gonna take my time
Gonna take my time
1
I think it would sound better if faster.
What about Not gonna waste my time, I’m gonna take my time. Just an idea.
I like it.
January 30, 2018
0
Thanks Andrea, I appreciate your listening. I’ll have to mess with the sound of that line change and the tempo. Thanks again!
January 31, 2018
1
James, there’s a lot in here that I really like. A lyric kind of threw me… “I wanna burn this candle at both ends” makes me think of living hard and fast - the opposite of your message. I know you tie it into the “bottle of wine” line but it just didn’t connect for me. My other suggestion is that I think the phrasing on your pre-chorus is too long. “My American dream…” I’d like to hear this in half the time so you get to the chorus sooner. All in all, good stuff!!
February 01, 2018
0
That’s great feedback Rick. I see what you are saying about the pre-chorus and I have never thought about it that way before. Kind of kills the vibe of the song a little. Gotta confess the dual meaning for the candle with the wine was one of the lines I really liked. I hope I can get some more feedback on that to see if I am in the minority on that. An honest critique is exactly why I am here. I appreciate it more than you know!
February 01, 2018
0
i like the song and the concept but i do agree burning the candle at both ends doesn’t seem to fit the idea of the song maybe burn the candle on the right end with a bottle of wine and good friends
i think of living fast burning the candle at both ends.
they way you have it flows well and i definitely made a connection with it
February 03, 2018
0
I think I am seeing your point guys. It is the phrase itself that draws a certain emotion that can’t be disconnected emotionally from what it really means. When I wrote it I was trying to capture the idea that I am going hard after quality time with her, loving her early and loving her late. Burning the candle at both ends, but not at work. I hear what you are saying that the phrase is too set in its meaning, emotionally, for me to try to turn it and make it work in this context. Hmmm, I wonder if I can tweak it to make that more clear, and turn that phrase so the line works, or if the line just needs to change?? Really great feedback guys, thank you.
February 03, 2018
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
Andrea Bergman
I think it would sound better if faster.
What about Not gonna waste my time, I’m gonna take my time. Just an idea.
I like it.
January 30, 2018