This song is super important to me because it came to me in a dream. This has never happened before and hasn't happened since! I had attended an old time week in WV where Rhiannon Giddens was one of the headliner speakers and woke up one morning with the words on my mind. I am also from a long line of women musicians, all of the women back to my great great grandmothers were musicians, who mostly played church organs. This song is about passing on that legacy. Working on it for the new album!
Any feedback at all is appreciated! Be honest is all I ask. Session fiddle and bass players used. They were incredible I thought.
Love the backstory. It has a real poignant Appalachian feel, a traditional story-song format. Catchy tune, and love the voice. The fiddle is great, but makes the song really long, and I wonder if you might want to edit it for length and save the long fiddle parts for live performance. It’s simple but elegant. I really liked the line about the angel and the grace note at the end of the page. Like Brent, though, I was confused at first about who was who on first listen, and even with the lyrics in front of me had to go back and re-read. So I think you might want to clarify that. But I liked it!
January 09, 2018
You must be signed in to post feedback.
Out in the country in the fields there is
A pretty little girl on her daddy’s knee
Sitting on the porch in the summer shade
Learning the fiddle going one, two, three
He said play for your mother, play that she’s gone
Play for the joy she brought everyone
Play it once for the time we had
And if you miss her won't you play it again
She was a tiny thing the doctor said
For the rest of her time she’s bound to bed
But the baby is strong inside her womb
Pretty and sweet like a fiddle tune
The angel came too soon they say
Like a pickup note at the end of a page
And when she played it was for the last time
For the lord giveth, and he taketh away
Oh lord, oh lord let my baby know
The power of music inside her soul
Since I won't be here to dry her tears
Take your arms around her with each note that she hears…
Out in the country in the fields there is
A pretty little girl on her daddy’s knee
Sitting on the porch in the summer shade
Learning the fiddle going one, two, three
1
Hey, Sandra! Thanks for sharing this. I’m no folk expert, but here goes.
I like that it moves. Tempo. The instrumental break after the 1st verse feels really long. Might be okay with production, but…
I got a little confused about the little girl and the baby. Had to look back over the lyrics (now I’m thankful for the music breaks) to piece it together. The listener probably won’t have the lyrics in front of them, though. Personally, I’d work on making it more clear that the little girl in the 1st verse is the baby in her mama’s womb later in, in a story her father told her.
That’s my biggest “uh-oh” with this song. Dig the vibe, like the story. Would just aim for more clarity in it. Or maybe I just need to finish this 2nd cup of coffee before listening.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 09, 2018
2
Love the backstory. It has a real poignant Appalachian feel, a traditional story-song format. Catchy tune, and love the voice. The fiddle is great, but makes the song really long, and I wonder if you might want to edit it for length and save the long fiddle parts for live performance. It’s simple but elegant. I really liked the line about the angel and the grace note at the end of the page. Like Brent, though, I was confused at first about who was who on first listen, and even with the lyrics in front of me had to go back and re-read. So I think you might want to clarify that. But I liked it!
January 09, 2018
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
Brent Baxter
Hey, Sandra! Thanks for sharing this. I’m no folk expert, but here goes.
I like that it moves. Tempo. The instrumental break after the 1st verse feels really long. Might be okay with production, but…
I got a little confused about the little girl and the baby. Had to look back over the lyrics (now I’m thankful for the music breaks) to piece it together. The listener probably won’t have the lyrics in front of them, though. Personally, I’d work on making it more clear that the little girl in the 1st verse is the baby in her mama’s womb later in, in a story her father told her.
That’s my biggest “uh-oh” with this song. Dig the vibe, like the story. Would just aim for more clarity in it. Or maybe I just need to finish this 2nd cup of coffee before listening.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 09, 2018