I always find writing verses harder than choruses... and I realized how this is like the weekends (choruses) being fun, and the weekdays (verses) hard work, so wrote this song about that!
Any and all feedback welcome!
Awesome and detailed feedback once more, thanks Brent! Hadn’t heard Hook before, so given that a listen as I reply!
Yep the angle is to be fun and feel-good, something to play on a Tuesday or Wednesday to put a smile on your face and make the work day more tolerable, so definitely want the song to be as catchy and sing-along as it can be, in chorus and verse.
I like the idea for the chorus, to repeat the hook more than once in there. Also good advice on the verse being hookier itself, while it’s about the week being dull and weekends exciting and the verse is the week, well, can’t have the song being dull - I will revisit and see if I can find a catchier, more upbeat sounding verse to go in there (meantime if anyone passing by should come up with something, I am open to collaborating on a whole new version of the song - whatever makes it better!)
Cheers!
January 03, 2018
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You close your eyes,
Monday lies in wait
Another week with all its traps,
for you to navigate
Friday can't come soon enough
CHORUS
Life is too many verses, and not enough chorus,
Sing if you know this
Life is too many work days, those Mondays to Fridays,
Sell 'em to get paid
So when the weekend comes, live it loud
Wednesday comes around,
You're only half way
Stay in bed for another 5
Before you can face the day
Friday's still a long way off
CHORUS
Life is too many verses, and not enough chorus
Sing if you know this
Life is too many reruns, repeating what's been done,
Waiting for freedom
When the weekend comes, you'll live it loud
SOLO
CHORUS
Life is too many verses, and not enough chorus,
Sing if you know this
Life is too many work days, those Mondays to Fridays,
Sell 'em to get paid
So when the weekend comes, live it loud
ENDING
When the weekend comes, gonna live it loud
1
Hey, Tommy! Thanks for sharing your song. It’s an intriguing song title, that’s for sure. And I think the angle you’ve taken is interesting.
I’m afraid it might be too “inside” to songs and music. But maybe not. After all, everyone knows that the chorus is and that the chorus is the sing-along part. So that’s probably fine.
In a way, it kinda reminds me of “Hook” by Blues Traveller. A song about songs. Kinda.
In your chorus, I’d love to hear the hook again. And I like that you’re making the chorus have some sing-along elements. I wonder if you can make the hook more positive, though. Maybe call it “Chorus” and have the chorus wrap back around somehow to that word. Like “I just wanna live in the chorus” or “I just wanna get to the chorus.” Just a thought.
Also, I’d like the verse melody to be hookier. I think your angle on this song is to be a fun, feel-good vibe, even though the idea is kind of a downer. Don’t make the song a downer, though. If that makes sense.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
December 30, 2017
0
Awesome and detailed feedback once more, thanks Brent! Hadn’t heard Hook before, so given that a listen as I reply!
Yep the angle is to be fun and feel-good, something to play on a Tuesday or Wednesday to put a smile on your face and make the work day more tolerable, so definitely want the song to be as catchy and sing-along as it can be, in chorus and verse.
I like the idea for the chorus, to repeat the hook more than once in there. Also good advice on the verse being hookier itself, while it’s about the week being dull and weekends exciting and the verse is the week, well, can’t have the song being dull - I will revisit and see if I can find a catchier, more upbeat sounding verse to go in there (meantime if anyone passing by should come up with something, I am open to collaborating on a whole new version of the song - whatever makes it better!)
Cheers!
January 03, 2018
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Tommy! Thanks for sharing your song. It’s an intriguing song title, that’s for sure. And I think the angle you’ve taken is interesting.
I’m afraid it might be too “inside” to songs and music. But maybe not. After all, everyone knows that the chorus is and that the chorus is the sing-along part. So that’s probably fine.
In a way, it kinda reminds me of “Hook” by Blues Traveller. A song about songs. Kinda.
In your chorus, I’d love to hear the hook again. And I like that you’re making the chorus have some sing-along elements. I wonder if you can make the hook more positive, though. Maybe call it “Chorus” and have the chorus wrap back around somehow to that word. Like “I just wanna live in the chorus” or “I just wanna get to the chorus.” Just a thought.
Also, I’d like the verse melody to be hookier. I think your angle on this song is to be a fun, feel-good vibe, even though the idea is kind of a downer. Don’t make the song a downer, though. If that makes sense.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
December 30, 2017