The song is about someone living rough `on the streets`
HI Robert,
Many thanks for your feedback again.In retrospect, I agree with you on the melody being a bit repetitious but strangely I didn`t think to vary it more at the time but I will check this out in the future.
As to the lyrics…I used `the wind whistles in` and `the rain plays a part` to emphasize the cold nights of someone living rough and used `all memories now at the back of his heart` to signify that he had opted out of society like a lot of these unfortunate people.
Hope this makes the story a bit clearer but I realize also that there is always another version of a story that could be told better.
Many thanks again Robert
Barry
July 02, 2017
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JOHN
THE WIND WHISTLES IN THROUGH THE NIGHT
AND SOMETIMES THE RAIN HAS A PART
THERE`S A MAN WHO HAS LOST ALL HIS FIGHT
WITH ALL MEMORIES NOW AT THE BACK OF HIS HEART
TOMORROW MAY BRING A BETTER TIME
OR MAYBE JUST ANOTHER LIKE TODAY
THERE`S PROBLEMS TO BE SOLVED ONCE AGAIN
LIKE HOW TO MAKE THESE PAINS GO AWAY
JOHN WAS A PART OF US ALL
HAD A NINE TO FIVE LIKE THE REST OF US
PAID HIS WAY AND STOOD SO TALL
LIVED WITH A MINIMUM OF FUSS
HE WALK`S ALL THE STREETS ON HIS OWN
NO ONE WAITING AT THE END OF HIS DAY
IT`S POSSIBLE HE WAS NEVER EVER SHOWN
HOW TO MAKE ALL HIS PAIN GO AWAY
OH JOHN WHERE`S YOUR PLACE FOR TONIGHT
JOHN DON`T FORGET YOUR CARDBOARD BED
CAN YOU NOT GO BACK AND PUT THINGS RIGHT
OR IS THIS NOW YOUR LIFE INSTEAD
JOHN WAS A PART OF US ALL
AND WAS SO WAS DAVE WHO LIKES TO RECALL
AND TOM SOMETIMES PASSES WHO DOESN`T LOOK GREAT
AND ALICE AND STEVE WITH HIS MATE
THEY WALK ALL THE STREETS EVERY DAY
WITH NO ANSWER TO TAKE THEIR PAIN AWAY
AND JOHN DON`T FORGET YOUR CARDBOARD BED
IS THIS NOW YOUR LIFE INSTEAD
JOHN WAS A PART OF US ALL
HAD A NINE TO FIVE LIKE THE REST OF US
PAID HIS WAY AND STOOD SO TALL
LIVED WITH A MINIMUM OF FUSS
0
Hi Barry… Always look forward to your next song!
With this one…I believe the soundtrack and melody is to in-sync unless you intentionally wanted that? For that reason it sound too repetitious. A simple variation of the melody would fix that.
And the horns sound too artificial with the patch you used. Sometimes it can be cured by lowering them in the mix and adding a lot of reverb just for the horns. I’ve done it and sometimes that works.
Your vocalist was perfect for this type of song… very clear and not trying to do something that it is not. Just pure and clean vocal… nice.
On the lyrics…
“The air goes still in the night,
and in the quiet the pain gets its start.
And this man who now lost his fight,
with the memories that broke his heart.”
I’m not sure if this is any better or not… but lyrically, the first verse I believe could be better, and since it is the first verse, it’s all the more important.
Love your stuff!
July 02, 2017
0
HI Robert,
Many thanks for your feedback again.In retrospect, I agree with you on the melody being a bit repetitious but strangely I didn`t think to vary it more at the time but I will check this out in the future.
As to the lyrics…I used `the wind whistles in` and `the rain plays a part` to emphasize the cold nights of someone living rough and used `all memories now at the back of his heart` to signify that he had opted out of society like a lot of these unfortunate people.
Hope this makes the story a bit clearer but I realize also that there is always another version of a story that could be told better.
Many thanks again Robert
Barry
July 02, 2017
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Robert Lloyd
Hi Barry… Always look forward to your next song!
With this one…I believe the soundtrack and melody is to in-sync unless you intentionally wanted that? For that reason it sound too repetitious. A simple variation of the melody would fix that.
And the horns sound too artificial with the patch you used. Sometimes it can be cured by lowering them in the mix and adding a lot of reverb just for the horns. I’ve done it and sometimes that works.
Your vocalist was perfect for this type of song… very clear and not trying to do something that it is not. Just pure and clean vocal… nice.
On the lyrics…
“The air goes still in the night,
and in the quiet the pain gets its start.
And this man who now lost his fight,
with the memories that broke his heart.”
I’m not sure if this is any better or not… but lyrically, the first verse I believe could be better, and since it is the first verse, it’s all the more important.
Love your stuff!
July 02, 2017
No members have liked this comment.