Modern day telling of what happened that day in the garden.
Any feedback is greatly appreciated, thanks for listening!
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Where is Adam my dear Eve?
Would you like to talk? Get something to eat?
We can have a picnic underneath that tree,
It will be harmless you can trust me
…It’s just you and me
You have to admit, I’m not that bad
You know Adam; he reminds me of your dad
You have it all here, what a perfect life
Will you do me a favor? Pass that knife
…Would you like a slice?
What do you mean, it would kill you?
Surly He doesn’t see everything that you do
Why don’t you grab that one above your head
I promise when you finish, you won’t be dead
…Is that really what He said?
Do you mind if I slither a little up your leg?
You’re as soft as a child, as smooth as an egg
How does Adam resist you in his bed?
Do you mean to tell me he doesn’t know he’s naked?
…What if he did instead?
O Adam, how funny you should meet us here!
Isn’t Eve tempting when she shows no care?
Why don’t you have some? It didn’t hurt her
A world of sin is a world of pleasure!
…It’s what you’ll prefer
Well I’m happy we were able to have this date
But I must be going now, it’s getting late
I have to get home in time to feed the hounds,
Before they go out on their nightly rounds
…Why such worried frowns?
Yes, I know your Father’s on His evening walk
But I promise if I see him I will not talk
He knows my business is to vindicate love;
To give it more of a reason than just because
…And that’s all this was…
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Wow! That’s a REALLY cool, creepy lyric! Dang. Some great lines in there. “Soft as a child, smooth as an egg.” Good stuff. I do have a couple theological issues with it, though. To my understanding, Adam was there the whole time. He was silent, not speaking up and protecting Eve. Then he also ate the apple. And I’m sure Adam didn’t have to resist Eve in bed. Sex isn’t sin. God made them for each other, with the… required anatomy. So I’m sure… well, anyway…
And I didn’t quite get the part about vindicate love. Just kinda went over my head.
I thought the song was much stronger lyrically than melodically, though. The lyric is really gripping, but the melody just kinda sits there. My suggestion would be to keep plugging away on the melody or find a good melodic cowriter.
Again, that lyric is really cool. What a neat way to re-tell that story. Thanks for posting. I’d love to hear some of your other stuff!
January 18, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Wow! That’s a REALLY cool, creepy lyric! Dang. Some great lines in there. “Soft as a child, smooth as an egg.” Good stuff. I do have a couple theological issues with it, though. To my understanding, Adam was there the whole time. He was silent, not speaking up and protecting Eve. Then he also ate the apple. And I’m sure Adam didn’t have to resist Eve in bed. Sex isn’t sin. God made them for each other, with the… required anatomy. So I’m sure… well, anyway…
And I didn’t quite get the part about vindicate love. Just kinda went over my head.
I thought the song was much stronger lyrically than melodically, though. The lyric is really gripping, but the melody just kinda sits there. My suggestion would be to keep plugging away on the melody or find a good melodic cowriter.
Again, that lyric is really cool. What a neat way to re-tell that story. Thanks for posting. I’d love to hear some of your other stuff!
January 18, 2017
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