I wanted to write an easy to understand theological worship song.
Genius, great, good, bad, worse than bad, I hate you for writing it and I think you should suffer and die... anything you want, you won't fill my head with pride or hurt my feelings.
I would love to hear the vocals turned up. Maybe a little cleaner recording on the instruments. Over all positive message and you gotta love that
January 15, 2018
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The moon, the stars; blue tinted light
I’ll sing Your praises in the night
The autumn leaves, crisp; rivers flow
Expressions of heavens mere shadow
Your glory is bursting at the seams!
Anxious for me to let it shine through!
Though I’m weak and poor, I’ll give to you
From this broken shell, a heart that is true
And if it be Your will, I will sing out loud
To bring to Your temple some joyous crowd
Where the veil is torn and You’re at the door!
Inviting those people to come in!
Found in Christ; I am, known to You
With the Holy Spirit to guide me through
Creator of all things, old and new
You are in me, and I am in You!
And Your glory’s revealed in who answer the call!
To love with the love that saved from the fall!
Your glory’s revealed in who answer Your call!
To love with the love that still saves from the fall!
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Hi Ryan. Thanks for posting your work up here. I’ve listened to your song a couple of times now and here’s my thoughts:
It sounds like you have recorded all in one take. The vocals don’t come across as loud as the guitar so it is quite tricky to make out what you’re singing. Using something as simple as ‘Audacity’ can help you to layer the vocals so they are clearer. Lyrics are on the whole pretty good. The last two lines of each verse have a different chord pattern (which the song needs) but to my ears it sounds out of tune at that point. What are you playing there? Send me the chords and I’ll see if I can find another voicing that may work better if you like.
Overall I get the spirit of awe and wonder - using a minor key can accentuate that. A bass line or a bridge could really help lift the song and inject some dynamics.
I hope this encourages you - it’s a brave thing to post up here - I’m amazed none of the other songwriters have at least left you a word or two.
Keep up the good work brother - keep lifting your heart to His.
January 29, 2016
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I would love to hear the vocals turned up. Maybe a little cleaner recording on the instruments. Over all positive message and you gotta love that
January 15, 2018
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David Goodchild
Hi Ryan. Thanks for posting your work up here. I’ve listened to your song a couple of times now and here’s my thoughts:
It sounds like you have recorded all in one take. The vocals don’t come across as loud as the guitar so it is quite tricky to make out what you’re singing. Using something as simple as ‘Audacity’ can help you to layer the vocals so they are clearer. Lyrics are on the whole pretty good. The last two lines of each verse have a different chord pattern (which the song needs) but to my ears it sounds out of tune at that point. What are you playing there? Send me the chords and I’ll see if I can find another voicing that may work better if you like.
Overall I get the spirit of awe and wonder - using a minor key can accentuate that. A bass line or a bridge could really help lift the song and inject some dynamics.
I hope this encourages you - it’s a brave thing to post up here - I’m amazed none of the other songwriters have at least left you a word or two.
Keep up the good work brother - keep lifting your heart to His.
January 29, 2016
No members have liked this comment.