I think I picked up the title from a movie scene and instantly felt that it could be worth developing further. As I have two brothers of my own it as easy to imagine how it woul feel if one of them was in trouble and went missing. The lyrics are cowritten with a friend of mine (Ida Sköld).
From your perspective, how would you try to market or pitch this song?
Hi NIgel!
Oh thanks, what a great idea! Will definitely look into it.
Cheers,
Martin
August 11, 2015
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Hi, Martin!
Nice song. A lot of emotion. What’s a Tullamore? Also, and it’s a little thing, but “call me on the phone” hits me as non-conversational. You’d just say “call me.” How else would he call you? Feels like you’re going for the rhyme. It’d be more natural to say something like “so pick up the phone.” But it has a really nice feel. Good job!
January 26, 2017
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Hi Brent!
Thanks for your input and constructive feedback. Really appreciate it!
“I’m old enough for sure
To know what’s inside that Tullamore”
Tullamore: As in Tullamore Dew, the Irish whiskey. Maybe didn’t get quite through. I guess it’s sold in the US but not as common as, let’s say, various bourbon brands. I wasn’t quite sure to include a specific brand in the song, but I thought it would add some detail. In retrospect, probably not such a good idea
My biggest concern was to decide whether saying something of the reason he’s not around anymore or not. Any thoughts?
“So when you get back home
Call me on the phone”
You’re right. A tautology. “So pick up the phone” would work. I might try that.
A reflecton: Someone told me that I would consider having a bridge back into that first chorus. The reason would be to provide some new info that listener can relate to so that she/he can become more attached to the situation. Your thoughts?
All the best,
Martin
January 27, 2017
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Hello, can you hear me
Pick up the phone if you're there
They say you had to leave town
No one seen you around
Frankly, it's worrying my mind
So when you get home
Call me on the phone
And tell me that's everything's alright
I want you to know
I care about you so
So call me
Love you, bro
Hey listen, it's me again
You need to get back to me
I'm not a child anymore
I'm old enough, for sure
To know what's inside that Tullamore
Mum thinks I'm sleeping
Well, I'm here dreaming
about the days when you were around
One thing I know
I won't let you go
So call me
Love you, bro
1
Nice song. Might be worth getting in touch with missing persons campaign organisations and offering them the song.
July 16, 2015
0
Hi NIgel!
Oh thanks, what a great idea! Will definitely look into it.
Cheers,
Martin
August 11, 2015
0
Hi, Martin!
Nice song. A lot of emotion. What’s a Tullamore? Also, and it’s a little thing, but “call me on the phone” hits me as non-conversational. You’d just say “call me.” How else would he call you? Feels like you’re going for the rhyme. It’d be more natural to say something like “so pick up the phone.” But it has a really nice feel. Good job!
January 26, 2017
0
Hi Brent!
Thanks for your input and constructive feedback. Really appreciate it!
“I’m old enough for sure
To know what’s inside that Tullamore”
Tullamore: As in Tullamore Dew, the Irish whiskey. Maybe didn’t get quite through. I guess it’s sold in the US but not as common as, let’s say, various bourbon brands. I wasn’t quite sure to include a specific brand in the song, but I thought it would add some detail. In retrospect, probably not such a good idea
My biggest concern was to decide whether saying something of the reason he’s not around anymore or not. Any thoughts?
“So when you get back home
Call me on the phone”
You’re right. A tautology. “So pick up the phone” would work. I might try that.
A reflecton: Someone told me that I would consider having a bridge back into that first chorus. The reason would be to provide some new info that listener can relate to so that she/he can become more attached to the situation. Your thoughts?
All the best,
Martin
January 27, 2017
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Nigel Parry
Nice song. Might be worth getting in touch with missing persons campaign organisations and offering them the song.
July 16, 2015