Got this song on in my car
But I know we needed more
Shoulda never let it get this far
It's shoots across like a shooting star
Well this is not goodbye
I've just been spending way too much time
The world is mine
And that'll be my lullaby
Well I'm not sleeping
I'm awake but I keep dreaming
Hold the hands of time
I hold em tight cause it keeps leaving
We were young
Like loaded guns
You came in like the morning sun
You don't have to run
We only say a word or two
But there's a million thoughts from me to you
The words they must be skewed
And we've both had a drink or two
Well I'm not sleeping
I'm awake but I keep dreaming
Hold the hands of time
I hold em tight cause it keeps leaving
And while you're sleeping in your bed
And all those thoughts run through your head
Just realise how this ends
But we can fix it all instead
Don't let your pride turn it red
And just reject what we're all fed
The tide keeps moving straight ahead
But I'll move the earth for it instead
Well I'm not sleeping
I'm awake but I keep dreaming
Hold the hands of time
I hold em tight cause it keeps leaving
I agree with Carlos that the lyrics need some work - and there are lots of them.
Also, the chorus needs to stand out more (people don;t often listen to lyrics to start with, so it all becomes a stream of words).
Suggest the chorus might break away from the simple 4 chord prog. Nice hook in the chorus so wouldn’t want it to be lost.
July 16, 2015
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Got this song on in my car
But I know we needed more
Shoulda never let it get this far
It's shoots across like a shooting star
Well this is not goodbye
I've just been spending way too much time
The world is mine
And that'll be my lullaby
Well I'm not sleeping
I'm awake but I keep dreaming
Hold the hands of time
I hold em tight cause it keeps leaving
We were young
Like loaded guns
You came in like the morning sun
You don't have to run
We only say a word or two
But there's a million thoughts from me to you
The words they must be skewed
And we've both had a drink or two
Well I'm not sleeping
I'm awake but I keep dreaming
Hold the hands of time
I hold em tight cause it keeps leaving
And while you're sleeping in your bed
And all those thoughts run through your head
Just realise how this ends
But we can fix it all instead
Don't let your pride turn it red
And just reject what we're all fed
The tide keeps moving straight ahead
But I'll move the earth for it instead
Well I'm not sleeping
I'm awake but I keep dreaming
Hold the hands of time
I hold em tight cause it keeps leaving
1
Hi Patrick.
Fun song. i like the repeating riff throughout the song and the first two lines of the chorus (Well I’m not sleeping I’m awake but I keep dreaming). I think the story could be tied together more tightly. I’m not exactly sure what the problem is in the relationship so i think the story development could be better.
I do like how you end the song with…. I’m awake.
Hope this helps.
Best…
July 11, 2015
0
I agree with Carlos that the lyrics need some work - and there are lots of them.
Also, the chorus needs to stand out more (people don;t often listen to lyrics to start with, so it all becomes a stream of words).
Suggest the chorus might break away from the simple 4 chord prog. Nice hook in the chorus so wouldn’t want it to be lost.
July 16, 2015
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Carlos Tabora
Hi Patrick.
Fun song. i like the repeating riff throughout the song and the first two lines of the chorus (Well I’m not sleeping I’m awake but I keep dreaming). I think the story could be tied together more tightly. I’m not exactly sure what the problem is in the relationship so i think the story development could be better.
I do like how you end the song with…. I’m awake.
Hope this helps.
Best…
July 11, 2015