Any/all feedback is welcome.
Dave,
Unfortunately I can’t hear the music on my computer, so I can only comment on the lyrics.
The lyrics seem to me to be nice , simple, and straight forward and do a good job of getting the meaning of the song across. My only critiques would be, first, rhyming the same word in the first two lines. I would recommend changing one of the lines so it can end with a different word that rhymes with “you.” Second, there is no rhyme in the second part of the chorus while there are two in the first half. Since I can’t hear the music this suggestion may be groundless, but just reading the lyrics it seems that the second part of the chorus should have some type of rhyme in it also. Wish I could hear the music.
Hope this helps. Keep up the good work.
Brian
May 10, 2014
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Nice song Dave 
very catch tune.
I did not know who Adonis was either, but learn something new every day
May 12, 2014
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Perfectly Perfect
By Dave Undis and Michael Skotte
VERSE
God made perfect when he made you.
Da Vinci would have painted you.
Birds get jealous when you sing.
Your spirit’s pure as a mountain spring.
CHORUS
Adonis would agree
You’re as perfect as can be.
A flawless ideal gem,
Ten out of ten, perfectly perfect.
You’re as smart as you are sweet,
As pretty as can be,
Ten out of ten, perfectly perfect.
VERSE
A joyful mind and a gentle heart.
A living, breathing work of art.
A present from the Lord above.
I pray I will deserve your love.
CHORUS
Adonis would agree
You’re as perfect as can be.
A flawless ideal gem,
Ten out of ten, perfectly perfect.
You’re as smart as you are sweet,
As pretty as can be,
Ten out of ten, perfectly perfect.
BRIDGE
You make me feel perfect too
Just being with you.
CHORUS
Adonis would agree
You’re as perfect as can be.
A flawless ideal gem,
Ten out of ten, perfectly perfect.
You’re as smart as you are sweet,
As pretty as can be,
Ten out of ten, perfectly perfect.
Perfectly perfect.
0
Great song, the only feedback I would give is this, who is Adonis? I just think it’s not a “common” enough figure (I had to Google him). I could be wrong but, I think a lot of people might not know who that is. I think more people would get it right away if it were Aphrodite (or Venus), plus that’s a female known for her “bitchiness” and if someone like Aphrodite would agree, I think that means a lot. Everything else was great. The tune sticks in your head…. yeah! Great song!!
April 25, 2014
0
Dave,
Unfortunately I can’t hear the music on my computer, so I can only comment on the lyrics.
The lyrics seem to me to be nice , simple, and straight forward and do a good job of getting the meaning of the song across. My only critiques would be, first, rhyming the same word in the first two lines. I would recommend changing one of the lines so it can end with a different word that rhymes with “you.” Second, there is no rhyme in the second part of the chorus while there are two in the first half. Since I can’t hear the music this suggestion may be groundless, but just reading the lyrics it seems that the second part of the chorus should have some type of rhyme in it also. Wish I could hear the music.
Hope this helps. Keep up the good work.
Brian
May 10, 2014
0
Nice song Dave very catch tune.
I did not know who Adonis was either, but learn something new every day
May 12, 2014
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Charlie Katt
Great song, the only feedback I would give is this, who is Adonis? I just think it’s not a “common” enough figure (I had to Google him). I could be wrong but, I think a lot of people might not know who that is. I think more people would get it right away if it were Aphrodite (or Venus), plus that’s a female known for her “bitchiness” and if someone like Aphrodite would agree, I think that means a lot. Everything else was great. The tune sticks in your head…. yeah! Great song!!
April 25, 2014
No members have liked this comment.