I wrote this one about not being able to let someone go (a popular topic for me) and the need to hear them say goodbye so you can move forward.
I'm not a fan of the chorus. I really want to change it.
I actually really like the chorus! The simplicity of the lyrics there is great.
February 23, 2014
Anthony,
Great voice! I agree with the first comment about the vocal build-up. Maybe add another repeat of the chorus and really let it out! I like your lyrics as well. You definitely painted your story well. Good job 
Lach
February 23, 2014
Thank you all so much for the feedback! I definitely agree with adding a little umph toward the end of the song. I’d love to add more instrumentation which I might do in the future when I re-record this.
February 23, 2014
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Anthony,
Nice job. Like Orion said, I think the lyrics in this are really nice. I liked the line “So pull the trigger, pull it quickly let the words ring out.” Very nice.
I think giving me some variation or build up in some spots would take this to another level.
February 24, 2014
Very nice song. Well written. Great metaphor in “...trigger to spoken words that will hurt.” Good job!!!
February 27, 2014
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Lead me to the ledge
Say your piece, cautiously
I am volatile you know
There’s no bowing out, gracefully
So pull the trigger, pull it quickly
Let the words ring out
Let the sound of goodbye reverberate
In my head so I’ll comprehend
Chorus:
All I wanted was for you…(X3)
To love me
You are brightest spot
In the shallow end of this deep, dark sea
I know when the feelings are dyin’
And they’re not dyin’, at least not for me
But pull the trigger, pull it quickly
Before I lose my resolve
And say some things I might regret
Love can you drive you mad, I guess
Chorus
1
Well done sir. I would like to hear some sort of vocal build up in the second or third chorus (maybe add a little bit drums). Lyrically this song is great. I read it over a few times and It makes sense. My favorite line is “Let the sound of goodbye reverberate In my head so I’ll comprehend”.
February 23, 2014
1
I actually really like the chorus! The simplicity of the lyrics there is great.
February 23, 2014
1
Anthony,
Great voice! I agree with the first comment about the vocal build-up. Maybe add another repeat of the chorus and really let it out! I like your lyrics as well. You definitely painted your story well. Good job
Lach
February 23, 2014
0
Thank you all so much for the feedback! I definitely agree with adding a little umph toward the end of the song. I’d love to add more instrumentation which I might do in the future when I re-record this.
February 23, 2014
1
Anthony,
Nice job. Like Orion said, I think the lyrics in this are really nice. I liked the line “So pull the trigger, pull it quickly let the words ring out.” Very nice.
I think giving me some variation or build up in some spots would take this to another level.
February 24, 2014
1
Very nice song. Well written. Great metaphor in “...trigger to spoken words that will hurt.” Good job!!!
February 27, 2014
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Orion DiFranco
Well done sir. I would like to hear some sort of vocal build up in the second or third chorus (maybe add a little bit drums). Lyrically this song is great. I read it over a few times and It makes sense. My favorite line is “Let the sound of goodbye reverberate In my head so I’ll comprehend”.
February 23, 2014