This is a story song with an evolving chorus, in which the narrator means well but has trouble limiting himself to just two beers.
I want to know if the story is confusing, whether or not the title/theme/lyric work, if the melody is strong, as well as any feedback anything else that sticks out. I'd like to have a country artist cut this one at some point.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
VERSE1
It's been the longest week for real
When I get home I don't really feel
Like chattin it up or helpin’ out but I
Do it all because I know the deal
But maybe after supper and bath and
Story time...maybe I'll...have
CHORUS1
I’ll have two beers and not just one
Two beers when bedtime is done
Once it’s quiet in the house
I’ll be quiet as a mouse
And I’ll have two beers and not just one
VERSE2
I’ll be out hanging in my garage
Turn on the TV find a fight to watch
Couple of boys come over for cold ones
Cut on the tunes and pop a fresh one off
Shootin some pool and
Rough-housin, foolin going on...
What could go wrong?
CHORUS2
I’ll have Three beers and not just two
Four beers, yeah that oughta do
When the fellas are around
I can really throw 'em down
I’ll have five beers, and another one too
BRIDGE
I don’t remember how many I had
Wakin my wife up, or makin fun of her dad
I do however recall she was mad
O the fight that we had
Yeah, it was bad…
CHORUS3
So I’ll have:
No beers for the rest of my life
No beers, and ill keep my wife
If I gotta make a choice
Between a Coors and a divorce
I’ll have no beers for the rest of my life
TAG
And once next weekend rolls along
Don’t assume my wife forgot
So I’ll have no beers…
well maybe just one
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Brent Baxter:
Pro Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
No feedback has been posted yet.