I was thinking about how crazy love can be. While searching for love you have these moments of up and downs, but when you fall in love you have these great moments that stand out and really showcase what love is.
This idea hit me a half hour ago. I quickly went through the lyrics and put some music to it, just to give you an idea of what I'm thinking. Could use a Bridge as indicated, but I would love your feedback on anything. Where can i go with this? etc.
Dick,
Thank you very much for the feedback and I’m glad you see potential in this. I feel good about it. I appreciate you also providing me with some added knowledge. This is why I love Frettie. I learn so much haha.
Going to keep working on it. Will post a new version when I work through it.
Thanks!
Dennis
January 31, 2014
Dennis, I can’t get this song to play, but I really like the lyric and the idea. I love short phrases in a lyric.Short phrases usually lend themselves to a better melody than longer phrases, even though long phrases seem to be all the rage these days, and the emphasis is more on rhythm. I’d like to make one suggestion, and it’s just that, a suggestion… one man’s opinion to heed or ignore. What if, instead of saying “it’ll…” at the beginning of each verse line, you personalize it and say, “I…” Then at the chorus use “you and me,” or “us?” Just a thought. I look forward to listening to this, when I can get it to play.
August 08, 2014
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Randall, just checking back on this to see if you were able to finally get it to play. I’d love for you to hear it. Thanks!
Dennis
January 07, 2016
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This is really good considering the short amount of time it took to write it. Maybe you could start the song out like,
“It’ll make you happy,
make you sad,
make you wish its one thing that you never had.”
And maybe you could blend your chorus’s into one like,
“It’s him and her standing barefoot looking into each others eyes With everybody looking on Saying their I do’s,
Then bringing that little girl into the world. With her eyes so big and blue.
That’s love.” or something like that…..
Just trying to put some ideas out for you.
July 06, 2016
Thanks for the feedback Herman! I’ll be sure to check out your tunes as well. Welcome to Frettie!
July 07, 2016
No members have liked this comment.
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It'll make you happy
It'll make you sad
It'll make you wish you never had
That's love.
That's love.
It'll make you a believer
It'll make you a sceptic
It'll make you almost wish you never felt it
That's love.
That's love.
Chorus:
It's him and her standing barefoot looking into each others eyes
With everybody looking on
Saying their I do's
That's love.
It'll make you a tough guy.
It'll make you softy.
It'll make you think you had it all
That's love.
That's love.
Chorus:
It's him and her bringing that little girl into the world.
With her eyes so big and blue.
That's love.
( Possible Bridge)
Chorus:
It's him and her walking hand in hand till the end of time
With a smile on their face
That lights up the night
That's love.
That's love.
2
Dennis,
I think you have something going here. I think the short phrases in the verse combined with the refrain “that’s love, that’s love” works very well. However, I think you have 3 bridges already. A chorus is usually a musical/lyrical section which repeats (and sums up the verses). A bridge is typically a musical/lyrical section which does not repeat.
I think you should use some of the ideas in your “choruses” in new verses (eg:
It’s those big blue eyes
On their baby girl
Just arrived into their world
That’s love - that’s love)
and then write a repeating chorus that does a better job of summarizing the entire theme.
Good start - I look forward to the next version.
January 30, 2014
1
Dick,
Thank you very much for the feedback and I’m glad you see potential in this. I feel good about it. I appreciate you also providing me with some added knowledge. This is why I love Frettie. I learn so much haha.
Going to keep working on it. Will post a new version when I work through it.
Thanks!
Dennis
January 31, 2014
0
Dennis, I can’t get this song to play, but I really like the lyric and the idea. I love short phrases in a lyric.Short phrases usually lend themselves to a better melody than longer phrases, even though long phrases seem to be all the rage these days, and the emphasis is more on rhythm. I’d like to make one suggestion, and it’s just that, a suggestion… one man’s opinion to heed or ignore. What if, instead of saying “it’ll…” at the beginning of each verse line, you personalize it and say, “I…” Then at the chorus use “you and me,” or “us?” Just a thought. I look forward to listening to this, when I can get it to play.
August 08, 2014
0
Randall, just checking back on this to see if you were able to finally get it to play. I’d love for you to hear it. Thanks!
Dennis
January 07, 2016
1
This is really good considering the short amount of time it took to write it. Maybe you could start the song out like,
“It’ll make you happy,
make you sad,
make you wish its one thing that you never had.”
And maybe you could blend your chorus’s into one like,
“It’s him and her standing barefoot looking into each others eyes With everybody looking on Saying their I do’s,
Then bringing that little girl into the world. With her eyes so big and blue.
That’s love.” or something like that…..
Just trying to put some ideas out for you.
July 06, 2016
0
Thanks for the feedback Herman! I’ll be sure to check out your tunes as well. Welcome to Frettie!
July 07, 2016
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Dick Plunk
Dennis,
I think you have something going here. I think the short phrases in the verse combined with the refrain “that’s love, that’s love” works very well. However, I think you have 3 bridges already. A chorus is usually a musical/lyrical section which repeats (and sums up the verses). A bridge is typically a musical/lyrical section which does not repeat.
I think you should use some of the ideas in your “choruses” in new verses (eg:
It’s those big blue eyes
On their baby girl
Just arrived into their world
That’s love - that’s love)
and then write a repeating chorus that does a better job of summarizing the entire theme.
Good start - I look forward to the next version.
January 30, 2014