A jolly song about mental illness, recovery and love of life!
This is an edited version of a song destined for my debut independent album. Does the style/direction work? Is there any improvement regarding lyrics, or arrangement that you can see? Any other areas to work on? Any feedback would be great, thanks.
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Perfect start to pull us in. Good flow into the different parts. Great rise in melody in verse 3. Ending is well done too. Other than pushing the lead vocal volume up for that brief moment against the violin as it comes in for the first time, I agree with Dennis that no changes are necessary.
January 29, 2014
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No members have liked this comment.
Always love a bit of positivity. I really like the feel of the ensemble that you have on here (especially the violin). There is a uke (or guitar / manolin?) following the vocal line on the chorus that is a little loud and drowns the lead vocal a little but other than that - great job!
January 29, 2016
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I'm alive,
I can feel this death flow from me
Like an ebbing tide.
Goodbye Old Man.
Had to see you die so I can find
Out who I am.
I'm breathing (I can breath again)
Some feeling (feeling alright)
I can taste the air, oh yeah.
This dead man's walking, oh my
This dead man's talking, oh my
This dead man's walking, talking, singing, dancing, living, oh my
Even as I shed the skin that I've worn for so long
I cannot see how it would fit if I was to try it on.
And even as I leave the cage that I've been living in
I cannot see how my whole world could fit into a space so thin.
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Phillip,
Welcome to Frettie! I really like this. I don’t see any changes that I would make. This has a really fun upbeat feel to it. Well done in my opinion!
January 22, 2014
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Perfect start to pull us in. Good flow into the different parts. Great rise in melody in verse 3. Ending is well done too. Other than pushing the lead vocal volume up for that brief moment against the violin as it comes in for the first time, I agree with Dennis that no changes are necessary.
January 29, 2014
0
Always love a bit of positivity. I really like the feel of the ensemble that you have on here (especially the violin). There is a uke (or guitar / manolin?) following the vocal line on the chorus that is a little loud and drowns the lead vocal a little but other than that - great job!
January 29, 2016
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Dennis Field
Phillip,
Welcome to Frettie! I really like this. I don’t see any changes that I would make. This has a really fun upbeat feel to it. Well done in my opinion!
January 22, 2014
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