Thanks for the feedback Matt! My songs tend to write themselves and I rarely find time to go back and make these kinds of adjustments. Great structure feedback though.
December 31, 2013
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I don’t want to hear about hear about how great your day went
I don’t want to hear about his kiss
just close your mouth
I wish we all were as perfect as you’d wished
and all those silly lies had never passed our lips
but they did
I don’t want to hear about how great things could have been
I don’t want to hear about how selfish I was being
because I was
I used to love the way you’d sing when you thought you were alone
I lost my wedding ring and you’re not coming home
and they will all blame you
oh no, they will all blame me
I don't want to hear about all of my sins
those scrapes and bruises I left on your skin
you were in love
I don’t want to hear about those flowers that he sent
or all those right words I never said, but always meant
you are gone now
I don’t want to hear my son call him father
or how I could be there if I’d ever bothered
but I’m gone
I used to love the way you’d sing when you thought you were alone
I lost my wedding ring and you’re not coming home
and they will all blame you
oh no, they will all blame me
0
Great guitar part. The chords are nice, then haunting in the perfect ways at the perfect times. I love the chorus, but below I’ve rearranged the lines of the verses that I like best in a way I think tells the story. Sorry if the feedback is too bold. I like the song and want to see it succeed. Good luck.
I don’t want to hear about those flowers that he sent
I don’t want to hear about hear about how great your day went
just close your mouth
I don’t want to hear about how great things could have been
I don’t want to hear about how selfish I was being
you are gone now
I used to love the way you’d sing when you thought you were alone
I lost my wedding ring and you’re not coming home
and they will all blame you
oh no, they will all blame me
I don’t want to hear my son call him father
or how I could be there if I’d ever bothered
but I’m gone
I don’t want to hear about his kiss
I don’t want to hear about all of my sins
[We] were in love (I’d love to hear you repeat “Just close your mouth”)
December 30, 2013
0
Thanks for the feedback Matt! My songs tend to write themselves and I rarely find time to go back and make these kinds of adjustments. Great structure feedback though.
December 31, 2013
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Matt Rees
Great guitar part. The chords are nice, then haunting in the perfect ways at the perfect times. I love the chorus, but below I’ve rearranged the lines of the verses that I like best in a way I think tells the story. Sorry if the feedback is too bold. I like the song and want to see it succeed. Good luck.
I don’t want to hear about those flowers that he sent
I don’t want to hear about hear about how great your day went
just close your mouth
I don’t want to hear about how great things could have been
I don’t want to hear about how selfish I was being
you are gone now
I used to love the way you’d sing when you thought you were alone
I lost my wedding ring and you’re not coming home
and they will all blame you
oh no, they will all blame me
I don’t want to hear my son call him father
or how I could be there if I’d ever bothered
but I’m gone
I don’t want to hear about his kiss
I don’t want to hear about all of my sins
[We] were in love (I’d love to hear you repeat “Just close your mouth”)
December 30, 2013
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