Sundi Jo Graham

Great melody. Love the chorus. I’m wondering if you could tell a little more of the story in your verses though?

Mitch Matthews

I’ve been writing a song with the same title. Strange how things like this happen. Nice work.

Rick Lane

Love the sound of this, Michael. Really catchy melody. Good sounding demo too. Here’s a couple of things that jumped out at me that might help:
- I think I would sing the 2nd and 6th lines of your chorus, so that they match up the rhyme with the previous line better, if that makes sense?
I would sing it like this:
To drink about it for a little bit longer
Cause I don’t wanna be wrong a…...
Bout givin’ you a little more time

I wish that, It never happened
But you can’t take it all back and
Now it’s come down to this,

“longer” and “wrong a”, and “happened” and “back and” are such great and original lines. I hate to see them get sort of lost in there. I would try to sing those two rhymes as close to the same as possible to really sell and accentuate them, because they are great. I know that you already have the rhyme with “about” and “now”, but that rhyme isn’t even close to being a fresh and cool as the rhymes I’m suggesting you accent. Maybe it’s just me, but those are the kinds of rhymes and lines that make my ears perk up. Lol.
- I agree with Sundi Jo on the verses. I get the story. I get that she just told you that she’s done something bad, something wrong, to hurt you and your relationship. I like the first verse (1st 4 lines), and I get the next 4 lines are setting up the hook better, but yeah, it would be nice if you could get a little more in that second verse, such as what are you feeling, what would you say, what are you saying to yourself, how is that whiskey helping you, etc. What could you say that would put us right there with you? How does that whiskey relate or compare to where your relationship is at that moment, or where you are mentally at that moment?
- On those first two lines of the song, what if you phrased them something like this?
I was looking up at a landslide
Like a deer caught in the headlights
Just a thought I had.
- I like your rhyme scheme for the first four lines of each verse, but then you change off of that rhyme scheme for the next four lines. To me, it feels like you should follow that same rhyme scheme, and then rhyme lines 4 and 8, like an AAAB > AAAB rhyme scheme.
- I’d want to rhyme that bridge, in my opinion, even if it was something simple like:
Still hopin’ Ill forgive you, but I
Still need a little more time

Anyway, really cool, melodic song. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing!

michael saleta

Hey everyone, thankyou for taking the time to listen and give me some feedback, its really appreciated. Some cool ideas thankyou