My Tom T. Hall-inspired song.
Feedback greatly appreciated.
hi mitch,
some great imagery here, story is well told, my biggest concern is that the first verse is in present tense and I think the rest should be too, “It’s a strip mall church” and is therefore still going , etc. Would be stronger that way, I think. Also while the last lyric part is ok, I would have liked to use the bridge before that “if I know Eddie” and then go on the last CH and out. But that’s my way of writing. As always take this with a large grain of salt! Nice story
RK
December 26, 2019
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Hi Mitch, this is a great original idea and the feel is very catchy. I like the humble imagery in the first lyric and the chorus. I totally like the song as it is, but you could also consider a different direction. As the story develops, could we perhaps meet one or two people who the Reverend helped. Something quick but poignant. I think that would draw a nice contrast between the humble setting and important work being done. It might have more emotional impact than the history of the barber shop and being unable to afford a larger space.
January 04, 2020
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Hi Mitch,
Interesting and very creative! Your title is a grabber, for sure!
You know..as I was listening, it seemed that I was craving some contrast in the story, which is good one, of course, but slightly tame. This is just a thought, but what if the previous business used to be the neighborhood bar instead of a barber shop. The law shut down the bar, and all the old drunks passed away.You can’t shoot whiskey til you’re blue in the face, but there’s lot’s of Holy water in that place.
Maybe the bar stools are still there..and maybe part of the big crowd he draws are former beer chuggers that come in out of force of habit, and end up finding the Lord right there on a bar stool! etc etc
I do love your song just as it is..but it’s always fun to play with ideas just to see where the song takes you…
January 07, 2020
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Hi Mitch
Thanks for your posting of this song. I am not into much bluegrass but this had a good toe tapping song. Good lyrics and you sang it well.
January 10, 2020
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Strip Mall Church
Words and Music by Mitch Matthews
Out on Route 11, a half a mile from town
That’s where Reverend Williams’ little chapel can be found
But there’s no stained-glass windows, no steeple up on top
It’s just inside a place that used to be a barber shop
CHORUS
It was a strip mall church, in Unit Number 5
Where Reverend Williams worked to keep the word of God alive
A strip mall church, with a cross upon the door
To the left, there was a Laundromat, to the right, a dollar store
Eddie’s barber shop had closed when Eddie passed away
About the time the Reverend tried to find a place to pray
The lease it soon was transferred, and later on that week
The parking lot was full to hear the Reverend Williams speak
(CHORUS)
And if I know Eddie, he’d be so proud
To know his place could still draw a crowd
And while you can’t get a trim and shave
There’s always room there for a soul to save
A bigger church was something they just could not afford
But Williams’ congregation still sang praises to the Lord
Every Sunday morning, with folding chairs in rows
With no complaints from neighbors ‘cause the other stores were closed
(CHORUS)
0
The title got me right off the bat. Really made me wanna hear the song. So that’s always a great place to start. I like that you put so much imagery in your lyrics. So much I can see.
December 24, 2019
0
hi mitch,
some great imagery here, story is well told, my biggest concern is that the first verse is in present tense and I think the rest should be too, “It’s a strip mall church” and is therefore still going , etc. Would be stronger that way, I think. Also while the last lyric part is ok, I would have liked to use the bridge before that “if I know Eddie” and then go on the last CH and out. But that’s my way of writing. As always take this with a large grain of salt! Nice story
RK
December 26, 2019
0
Hi Mitch, this is a great original idea and the feel is very catchy. I like the humble imagery in the first lyric and the chorus. I totally like the song as it is, but you could also consider a different direction. As the story develops, could we perhaps meet one or two people who the Reverend helped. Something quick but poignant. I think that would draw a nice contrast between the humble setting and important work being done. It might have more emotional impact than the history of the barber shop and being unable to afford a larger space.
January 04, 2020
0
Hi Mitch,
Interesting and very creative! Your title is a grabber, for sure!
You know..as I was listening, it seemed that I was craving some contrast in the story, which is good one, of course, but slightly tame. This is just a thought, but what if the previous business used to be the neighborhood bar instead of a barber shop. The law shut down the bar, and all the old drunks passed away.You can’t shoot whiskey til you’re blue in the face, but there’s lot’s of Holy water in that place.
Maybe the bar stools are still there..and maybe part of the big crowd he draws are former beer chuggers that come in out of force of habit, and end up finding the Lord right there on a bar stool! etc etc
I do love your song just as it is..but it’s always fun to play with ideas just to see where the song takes you…
January 07, 2020
0
Hi Mitch
Thanks for your posting of this song. I am not into much bluegrass but this had a good toe tapping song. Good lyrics and you sang it well.
January 10, 2020
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The title got me right off the bat. Really made me wanna hear the song. So that’s always a great place to start. I like that you put so much imagery in your lyrics. So much I can see.
December 24, 2019
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