I wanted to write a song with a lot of breathing room in the story and unanswered, perhaps unanswerable questions. The gist is the screw up brother understands he needs to get better, but he's seen what a toxic relationship/getting straight can do.
Do you get enough of the story to picture this guy and is there enough about the brother to resolve his plight.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
It was summer and it was the two of us
Doing nothing down by the lake
'cept sittin' in mom's old Honda
Getting' baked
At night, we'd go fishing for coeds
If we were lucky we were wettin' our lines
High on life and any damn thing
We could find
--
Fall fell like a rusty guillotine
As your head rolled for sweet Marie
There wasn't nothin' she didn't like about you
'cept me
I know I was late for the weddin'
and the cake was dry as your bride
I remember her starin' those daggers
Through my bloodshot eyes
I'm a little bit worried bout me now
I'm a little bit worried bout me
Brother you been set free now
I'm a little bit worried bout me
You promised her the straight and narrow
I stuck to the winding road
I kept poundin' my big red button
Self destructing all alone
Cause you told me you were happy
You told me you were so in love
You would have told me you were up on that bridge that night
But I didn't pick up, I was to do drunk
I'm a little bit worried bout me now
I'm a little bit worried bout me
Brother you been set free now
I'm a little bit worried bout me
Winter is a time for family
So here I am down at the lake
I've been bangin' my fists on the ice
But it won't break
I don't think I've ever been happy
I feel think I've ever been loved
I keep tellin' myself, this ice isn't thicker
Than blood
I'm a little bit worried bout me now
I'm a little bit worried bout me
Brother you been set free now
I'm a little bit worried bout me
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Songwriting Pro.
×
No feedback has been posted yet.